Just One of Those Days....

Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and you don't want to crawl back in bed, but under it? When you want to call in dead? Or you just want to forget that you even exist (even if it's just for a few minutes!)? That is how I have felt the past couple of days.

I admit, that it's my own fault. I got way overwhelmed, took on way too much and frankly, should just learn to say NO! But, if I did any of that, then it just wouldn't be me, now would it?

I normally don't sleep well the days leading up to any type of medical procedures that Jason has. I worry about him all the time, but when I know he is going to have to undergo a procedure, it sends me into overdrive! I love him so much that I would spare him any pain by taking it myself. He's been through so much in his life that it hurts me to think of all that he has endured in his short life and things that he may have to endure later on. So, the past several days leading up to his flexor tendon release surgery, I didn't sleep well. I had a lot to do and did it all on very little sleep. And the sleep I did manage to get wasn't particularly restful!

Jason's procedure went well. He has had some pain but no more than expected. He had a little bit of nausea but I was able to help that with some anti-nausea meds. Mostly, he has just been really, really tired. So, I have let him sleep as much as he wanted because I know his body needs that in order to recover.

Add on top of that, our friend, Chuck, flew in from Korea last night and had asked me to pick him up at the airport. He spent the night with us and may be bunking out here off and on for a little while. If you don't know this about me, you might be surprised but I take on the role of hostess and my desire is to make sure that guests feel completely welcome...like a home away from home. So, of course, this week I was busying about getting things ready for his arrival. And then, I worried yesterday as I left Jason for a little while to pick him up. Luckily, I used my brains and called our niece, Katrina, and she stayed with Jason for awhile which definitely made me feel better.

And perhaps, I should've requested some time off from work since Jason was having surgery. Perhaps that would have been intelligent to do. However, things at work are crazy...as always! Our last audit didn't turn out the way I would have expected for my office and I am very unhappy. Granted, the reasons points were deducted were things that I had no control over and no way of knowing about. But, still, I am angry and I like to run a tight ship. So, I am being even more vigilant than ever when it comes to my office. I have the audit information and I am bound and determined that it will not happen again! I refuse to have points deducted when our next audit occurs in two to three months. (Yes, I am that stubborn!) So, I left Jason this morning for awhile to go into work and will have to leave him for a bit tomorrow to work as well. I feel guilty about it, but he slept the entire time I was gone. However, my mothering instinct is gnawing at me saying I need to be present at all times.

The great thing about today, in spite of the craziness, was that I had a massage scheduled. Now, I know you're probably thinking I am a very selfish wife. I will say Jason insisted I keep my regularly scheduled appointment and I was only 10 minutes away if he needed me. And for the first time ever, my phone was audible in case he needed me. Balancing it all, he was dead asleep thanks to anti-nausea meds and pain meds for the time I was gone. So, with all those precautions and some guilt, I went in for my regular appointment. It was good. It was necessary. I have no regrets about it.

The reason I have no regrets about it is that I would not be functioning right now had it not been for that appointment! My massage therapist, Jeremy, is my friend. I figure after about a year of massage therapy with him and lots and lots of good conversations, I can absolutely say he is more than just my massage therapist. I can tell him things like I would a psychologist (maybe I should give him more money! LOL!) So, today, when I walked in and said I was fine...he called me on it. I told him what was going on...vented for a few minutes and then, as usual, he distracted me from life and all it's insanity and made me laugh...A LOT! I have learned much from him over this year and I appreciate his insights and the way he knows me. He keeps my head clear and refocuses me when I get too caught up in something. And a lot of times, I walk out of our appointments with some profound wisdom that he has given me (and sometimes it can be something others have told me). Maybe it's the simple way that he explains things to me or the way he mentions things without ordering me to do something. Or maybe it's because he knows how to get through to me. I don't quite know, but what I do know is, that today I needed a friend to talk to and he listened and advised. And he is a good friend!

And my aching muscles got some relief because we were finally able to start back to our normal routines since I am no longer in physical therapy. While I was in physical therapy, the surgeon didn't want anyone else doing joint mobilizations. So, now we are back to that. I don't know if that is a good thing or not because after hip surgery I have become really nervous about my hip. I trust Jeremy and that says a lot about him. I respect him and I know that there are days I make his job difficult because I am such a control freak. But this hip injury has me intimidated. I know without a doubt that he would never do anything to hurt me. So, I have to remind myself whenever my hip is involved that he is there to help me and wouldn't ever dream of hurting me. And of course, as I predicted to him, I did much better on the right leg than the left. I am sure in time that will cease to be an issue for me...but I hate that I am reacting like that! At least, he understands and that helps! And hopefully it will be better soon!


So, in the midst of one of THOSE days, I was blessed to have a friend to listen to me and clear my head. I am blessed to have a sweet hubby whom I love more than anything and who knows what I need. One thing is for sure, I have found during my journey that true friends are quite simply a treasure. Finding someone who not only gets you but also allows you to be exactly who you are is priceless. And having friends who can tell when you are not being completely honest and call you out on it is just too awesome for words. I am grateful for the dear friends that fit in these categories. I am blessed that God has placed these people in my life. And I am more than blessed to have God who always knows exactly what I need and provides even more than I can ever imagine! Hope everyone has a great weekend!