What I've Overcome...

I discovered the song "What I've Overcome" by Fireflight awhile back and I have to tell you that it is pretty meaningful to me. Especially the chorus (full lyrics at the end of the post):

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

It's odd that after having lost 100+ pounds, I can look in the mirror and still see who I was back then. But the truth is that I shed that person with the weight. I am no longer who I was when I was so overweight that my life was in jeopardy. I couldn't play with my niece and nephews the way I wanted to. I had very little energy and even less stamina and endurance to walk or anything else. And let's not even think or discuss what my nutrition looked like.

It's funny how shedding that weight and that person has changed me. I won't lie, I have changed. I have gained more confidence, more strength, more speed, more endurance, more stamina, etc. I have gained a lifestyle that enables me to meet people I likely would never have talked to before because they were into fitness and I felt that they looked down on me.

There are a lot of days when I struggle with where I am because my motivation slips a bit and I get frustrated and don't feel great about myself. The problem is that I am trying to look at the big picture, at the road ahead and I have forgotten to acknowledge how far I have come. I don't feel like I need to dwell/focus on my past, however it is something I need to remember. I AM a different person. As my favorite Amplified Athletics' shirt states I am "Stronger Better Faster...Built Rebuilt".

It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that when I got the new flowers on my tattoo, that I would never in a million years think I would have gotten one flower tattooed for running a half marathon...now I have 13! I used to set limits as to what I could and could not do. I have grown past those limits. I never would have thought that I would love hitting the gym and lifting weights either. And now I can go into the gym and push myself and lift with good form alone. I still love training with a partner because I tend to push harder, but I now feel confident enough to go in alone also.

I think sometimes we all forget our motivations and our willpower slips. We all stumble. We all fall down occasionally. But we have to remember that we still have the ability to get back up and keep on going. We cannot let our past keep us down, nor can we let the fear of our future keep us from achieving what we are truly capable of. We have to push ourselves each day, a little harder, a little further. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. It doesn't work that way. If you want results, you have to make some changes. You have to allow yourself to grow and evolve.

So, what's holding you back? Acknowledge where you have been. Set goals (and mini goals) and constantly remember that the only thing keeping you from where you really want to be is you. We all have excuses. We all have fears. Rather than sitting on the couch stuffing your face with Oreos, get up, be active. Change your life little by little. No one said it would be easy but it is most definitely worth it. And know this, even though you may change and become someone different, you never really lose who you are, you just become a better, more fit version of yourself.

I shared this with some friends the other week. I had been told when I got the shih tzu puppies that I would never have running partners. Apparently no one ever informed Mayhem and Minion that they would not be my buddies. Those little girls LOVE sprinting. They LOVE getting the opportunity to run with me. And they are by far my favorite partners for HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training).  Don't let others set limitations on what you can accomplish. Don't limit yourself! Push yourself.

My running partners :) We've got some speed here!

I encourage you to get out there and make every day count. Don't give up on yourself and don't let yourself be bogged down by excuses or anything else. Each day is brand new...put the mistakes in the past and move forward! Life is way too short to focus on your failures. Learn from the mistakes and never settle for mediocrity!

My running mantra I had tattooed on my right arm :)

What I've Overcome lyrics

I've got this passion
It's something I can't describe
It's so electric
It's like I've just come alive

I feel this freedom 
Now that my past is erased
I feel the healing
I've found the meaning of grace
(I found grace)

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

I know I'll stumble
I know I'll still face defeat
These second chances will define me

So I'm moving forward
I'm standing on my two feet
I've got momentum
I've got someone saving me
(got someone saving me)

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

I make mistakes and I might fall
But I won't break
I've got someone saving me

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I'm what I've overcome
I'm what I've overcome

More Tattoo Work :)

My running tattoo is FINALLY up to date :) And I feel so much better...well, actually I feel itchy and I am peeling but I am thrilled to have the new flowers added!! I was due to get three of them last December but because of a conflict with my job at the time, I had to cancel my appointment. And then of course, I had 3 half marathons this spring that I needed to add as well. So, I got 6 flowers done which really tested my love/hate relationship with Matt :)

Matt Terry at Fu's Custom Tattoos  is freakin' amazing!!! In fact, I love his work so much that I am not certain I would allow anyone else to ink me!

I had so much fun getting my new flowers added. This was the most intense of any of my tattoo sessions because I had so much work done...like 3 1/2 hours of work! Granted I was there much longer than that because the drawing and placement takes a bit of time and then you have to get some breaks in every now and then. All in all, it was amazing and I had so much fun hanging with Matt and goofing around while he inked me!! I would have thought that the work on my shin would have been the most painful, however, there was a mix of pain and a feeling of tickling that hit me! It was an odd sensation! The calf work which was at the end was perhaps the most painful of that tattoo.

And I have a new favorite place to go when I am up in the area. I always head to Solstice Tavern for burgers before my tattoo.  While I was getting inked, Tripp called and asked where would be a good place to get a cookie or brownie in the area while he and his mom were waiting on me. Matt mentioned Amelie's French Bakery  was amazing and that I should get a caramel salted brownie. So, I had Tripp bring one for me and one for Matt. Let's just say as someone who bakes, my brownies are way outclassed by the French bakery. However, if you have to be outclassed it is better that it be a French bakery to do it!!! My comment upon tasting this was "it's like heaven in my mouth!" It was delicious!!! So, now I have a new tradition for when I head up to NoDa for tattoo work :)

Custom tattooing is fun :) Not everything that is drawn is tattooed, but it sure is funny :)

Matt at work :)

New flowers

This is so much more amazing than I could ever have imagined!

Keep 'Em Separated...

Minion and Mayhem had a vet appointment this past Monday to get their latest set of shots and a checkup. Things were looking pretty good. They are gaining weight just as they should (which made me feel better because Minion has not been the best eater!). And the vet let me know that she felt that they were doing very well. She started Minion's physical exam and that was when I got the news. Her hernia had gotten bigger. Apparently as a puppy grows, it is common for an umblilical hernia to grow too. In fact, the vet insisted that at this size, she felt that we needed to go ahead and repair it before it strangled out her intestines. 

The girls waiting at the vet's office

We had originally planned on spaying Mayhem and having her cherry eye repaired at 4 months. And then at 6 months, we were going to spay Minion and have her hernia repaired. So, I had not purchased the second crate and started separating them yet. Since the vet seemed concerned, I decided to go ahead and have Minion spayed and her hernia repaired the next day. I spent most of Monday picking up a new crate and trying to prepare for dropping Minion off for surgery the next day. I was a bit worried because she is so tiny and I just could not imagine her undergoing surgery at only 10 weeks of age. But a good friend assured me that they do this all the time and there was no need to be concerned.

We decided to put Minion and Mayhem in their separate crates on Monday night. I was a bit sad about it and the girls looked kind of pitiful that night too.

First night apart

The next morning I woke them up just a little bit early so they could play together. The vet had informed me that they would have to stay separated for about 7-10 days so that Minion could heal. I knew going in this was not going to be fun and that they were both going to have problems with this. So, we played for awhile and then I took both puppies with me to the vet's office to drop Minion off. I headed home with Mayhem and she was so lost and depressed. She barely ate at all and wandered around for quite awhile. She had a rough day on Tuesday. I did my best to give her lots and lots of extra love and attention but she was still very depressed.

I picked Minion up Tuesday afternoon and she was kinda out of it. She barely registered that I was there when I got her. The surgery went well and the vet said she would not have to wear the "cone of shame" unless she started licking that area, but the majority of her spays don't have to wear it. Mayhem perked up when I got her home but Minion was so out of it that she did not know she was there either. Minion cried quite a bit and had a hard time getting comfortable. I did manage to get her calmed down and settled in my arms.

Poor drugged up puppy :(

The following days were difficult and filled with a lot of crying and whining from both puppies. Separation was not their idea of a good time. Minion was on pain meds for several of those days but she still wanted to be with Mayhem. I did try to give them some supervised visitations but they always ended up trying to fight which was why they had to be kept apart.

I ended up having to take Minion in for a recheck on her incision on Friday and they informed me that she was healing nicely. They told me that as long as the girls were not all out fighting and hurting each other that they could start playing together some. So yesterday, I let them play for awhile and they were so happy. They fought quite a bit but I monitored them and separated when it got too intense.

This morning, I took them both out together for the first time since Minion's surgery. They were so thrilled. And then I let them play and fight a bit this morning. After they got all their aggression out, they settled down and played together. It was great to be able to let them enjoy some quality time together.

Right now, they are in their crates enjoying an afternoon nap. Depending upon their demeanor when they wake up, I will likely let them enjoy some more play time together. I am hopeful that their sleep habits will return to normal because the 5:30 wake up call is not my idea of a good time! This morning they let me sleep in...until 6 :( I miss the days when they slept until 7.

For now, I am just happy that they are playing well together and that Minion is feeling better. Bad news...I have to do this again in about 5 more weeks :(

Divas Half Marathon North Myrtle Beach Race Report (05/20/2012)

I have been wanting to do an all girls' race for some time now. The Divas Half Marathon looked pretty inviting but the locations were so far away and would involve quite a bit of funds. So, when I heard the Divas Half was coming to North Myrtle Beach, I knew it was the race for me. After all, I really need some girly bling, right? :)

Having competed in the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon and then the NC Half Marathon, I had become acquainted with Kendrick Ribeiro through his running tips, encouragement and advice, I knew I wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, he had not been able to make it to either Myrtle Beach Mini or the NC Half. As the official coach of all of these half marathons, he stays pretty busy but always finds time to send out encouragement and advice to the runners and I had really been helped and inspired by him. So, my first stop at the expo after getting my race packet was by his table to give him a big hug and chat for a few minutes. He was just as awesome in person as he has been online. So, it was great to get the chance to talk shop with him for a little bit. I did get to give him a big hug and he insisted that I had to wear the tiara and wrapped the boa around my neck for our photo :) LOL

I did a little bit of shopping at the expo. I bought a Sparkly Soul headband that I loved. It never slipped or moved the entire race. I love my Sweaty Bands but I didn't have one that matched what I was wearing, so I thought I would give this a try. I think they are awesome!!

We were kinda chill after the expo, grabbed dinner, grabbed some food for breakfast the next morning. And then I laid out all my stuff and clothes for the next day...of course, I would be representing Amplified Athletics by wearing one of their awesome shirts :)  For some reason, I had a horrible time getting to sleep before this race and only managed to get about 4 hours of sleep.

Since the hotel would not approve a late checkout for me until the next morning, I headed there at 5 a.m. to ask about it since they had told me the night before someone would be available. After waiting 10 minutes for someone to show up, I was informed that I would have to check back at 7 a.m....kinda difficult since I would be at the start line for my race. I ended up having to wake Jason up to have him check for a late checkout when he got up. Then as luck would have it, my GPS dislikes Myrtle Beach and got a bit turned around and I ended up getting to the shuttles later than planned. Luckily, I arrived at the start line with plenty of time.

Check out all the Divas getting ready for the race to start. The race had been sold out and there were around 4000 people registered for the half marathon. There was also a 5k which men were allowed to run that would start after us. (They gave out a medal for the 5k too which was pretty cool!)

While waiting for the race start, I chatted with a few people. I had planned to walk this race with a friend who doesn't run but she decided that she didn't want to do it about a week or so before the race. So, I had not planned to run which was probably not the worst thing ever since I had just recovered from the horrible blisters I got at the Flying Pirate Half Marathon. There was a walker back there who was terrified that she wouldn't finish, so those of us seasoned half marathoners were giving her some advice. Of course, I informed her not to get on a bus unless she was bleeding or had bones showing and to just keep going.

It was there I met my new friend, Lauren, who I found out was 26 weeks pregnant! This was her last half marathon to compete in until her next child is born in August. I loved hanging out with her and chatting as we completed the half. Her husband and son met us twice during the half marathon and Lauren actually carried Eamon as she crossed the finish line...that was amazing :)

It was a great course, we ran Ocean Boulevard for a lot of it and it was a very flat course. I would not consider the minor hills in the course anything to be worried about...they didn't last very long and their was not much elevation to either of them. The miles seemed to flow by the first half with plenty of coverage from trees in the residential areas. The course was well marked which is always nice. There were lots of water/gatorade stations which was awesome. The only time I was nervous was when we were out on one of the main roads because  I was right next to a whole lot of cars!!! And the last half of the course was full sun and all I could think about was the fact that I had neglected to put on sunscreen and had just gotten off an antibiotic!!

The boa and tiara station was right before the finish. I just got my tiara...as hot as it was there was no way I wanted a boa around my neck or to have to carry one. Lauren and I stayed together right up until the end. She was carrying Eamon and I saw the finish line in sight. So, I turned to her and said "See you in a few." I love running a finish line and this one was no different than the others.

So, I ran the finish line. I was not wearing my tiara because it would have flown off, so I ran with it in my hand.  And then I had a very hot looking shirtless guy hand me my medal. And I found the firefighters there too :)Yeah, that was a nice view.

And I saw Kendrick at the finish line and chatted with him briefly and introduced him to Lauren and Eamon :) I also found the champagne at the finish line and yes, I did enjoy every sip of it :) We headed over to get our pictures made and then to refuel.

After thanking Lauren for being my race buddy and agreeing to hook up on Facebook later, I headed back to the shuttle to get to my car and got back to the hotel with 15 minutes to spare to get showered and packed. I was very pleased that I did not experience any odd pains, no blisters, no issues. Hard to believe, I know. Perhaps my last two races took care of the worst of my issues for this one :) Let's just say I didn't question it. And I liked this race so much that I know that I want to run it next year and I will plan to run it from the start. I am pretty stoked about it!

My M&Ms...Mayhem & Minion

                                      

Minion & Mayhem

Well, it's official. I am owned by two sweet little shih tzu puppies. I have been thinking about getting a dog for awhile now. When I was working at the nutrition store, I knew my crazy hours would be too stressful on a dog, so I decided to table the idea until later.

Over Easter, I saw my Mom & sister's daschund puppies and thought they were adorable. I even went so far as to ask if they had any brothers or sisters left at home. They did not. I then got a phone call on my way home from my friend Ann, who told me that her shih tzu's mom in Virginia had another litter. Ann knew that I had fallen in love with the breed. Her dog, Nani, has been such a little sweetheart and I adore her!  So, I told her to check and see how much they wanted for a puppy. Their cost was a bit more than what I was thinking, especially since you have to factor in travel to VA, shots & vaccines, etc. So, I started looking online and found these two sweet little darlings.

I immediately contacted the owner to see if they were still available and was pleasantly surprised that they were and she accepted my offer for both of them. She agreed to hold on to them for me a little while longer than she had intended because I had a half marathon to complete and couldn't pick them up until I came back. It would've been too much stress to have to take them to my friends after  only a few days of being with me.

So, when I got back from the Outer Banks, I was able to pick them up that night and took them back to my friends' house for their first night. We spent the next morning playing with Ann's shih tzu, Nani. She was so sweet with them, herding them, playing with them, checking on them. I felt bad taking them home without her with them.

We got home a little before Jason got home from work. When he came in, I introduced them and he was surprised how small they are and I think he kinda fell in love with them too, though I am not certain he will admit it. He has been good at helping me with them so far. In fact, he was watching them last night for me while I was watching the Verner children.

Minion

Mayhem

They went to the vet on Thursday. I absolutely loved their vet, Dr. Blaes. He was super informative and so helpful. And all the staff at the Banfield Hospital at PetSmart on Harbison have been awesome. They took awesome care of the girls while we were there and were even helpful when I came back in yesterday because Minion had been way more stressed out and was barely eating and up whining quite a bit. They helped me find a food to give Minion to get her eating and reduce her stress. It worked. She ate like a champ and they both slept well last night too :)

Mayhem Napping with the Froggies :)

Minion Napping

I am totally in love with the girls and would not trade them for the world. They were seven weeks old yesterday. So far, they have done pretty well adjusting. They occasionally use the training pads and not the floor. We get lots of play time and they are super spoiled :)  I am enjoying being their Mommy :) And I think they are pretty happy with me because when they heard my voice when I came in last night, they both ran to greet me with lots of kisses and cuddles :)

Well, time for me to get off the computer and enjoy some quality play time followed by some quality cuddle time with my girls :) All this cuteness is just amazing!!

Sleepy Girls :) It's Bedtime!

Flying Pirate Half Marathon 4/22/2012

When I planned out my races for the beginning of this year, this race was not included. In fact, I only intended to do two this spring. However, when I got an e-mail from my friend Laura's weight loss group leader about participating in this race since it would be Laura's first half marathon, I decided I had to be there to support her. And since I did not just want to be on the sidelines, I decided to make this one of my long distance runs in preparation for my half in May.

Thank goodness I decided that it was only going to be a long distance. Earlier this week, I got the news from Laura and Joanna that it was going to rain...100% chance of rain! Yikes!!! And I also for some reason when doing yard work determined that I needed to drop a brick on my foot. Ouch! What in the world was I thinking! My poor foot has been killing me all week! Since Jason had already taken off time for vacation and we had already paid for the hotel and the race, there was no backing out. And have I mentioned that my youngest nephew, Trent, chose this medal as his own! So, come rain or shine, pain or injury, this race was going down in the books as finished. Trent needs his medal!

I did my best to prepare for rain. I tried to prepare for blisters since I have been having issues lately on my longer runs. I got new socks to try which were a bit more cushioned. I even put moleskin on the areas that I have had problems with. I went to bed very early only to be awakened by some arguing bikers in the next door room. Joy! Thank goodness they either resolved their issues or the phone call to the front desk put a stop to it.

I got up a little after 4 a.m. and got started getting ready. With breakfast eaten, phone in a plastic bag, iPod in a plastic bag and everything else ready to go, I headed out to pick Laura up about 5:15. We headed over to parking and then got on the very first shuttle to the start line.

The shuttle to the start line let us out within short walking distance to the start. We headed over in the rain and hit the port-a-potty lines (okay, so with the rain there were no lines!) Then we headed to the covered building to wait for the corrals to line up. We got into our corral and waited for the race to start. It was still raining and I was pretty damp.

I wished Laura luck as we started out. With my foot already bothering me where I dropped a brick on it, I had made the decision to walk before we started. So, I headed out at a pretty good pace. Somewhere around mile 2 both of my feet started giving me issues. I knew it was my toes and I knew it was likely blister issues. I was trying to stick it out but at mile 3, I stopped at the medical station with the intention of checking the foot that was giving me less problems. When I pulled the shoe and sock off, I knew I was in trouble. I had blood and not just a little. The blister had popped and was bleeding. I got a bandaid on it and some moleskin and decided to check the other foot. It was much, much worse. We got it cleaned up as well and I put both shoes back on and headed back out on the course because the lady at the medical tent said she didn't think it was TOO bad.

So, I got back on the course and decided to slow my pace quite a bit more to lessen the intensity of the pain. I also decided that I needed a good distraction. So, I found two fun people to enjoy the lovely torrential downpours with! I really enjoyed Jennifer and Chantelle. Chantelle was originally from South Africa and her husband had told her that a half was only 10 miles, so she didn't train for her first half. She was pretty ticked by mile 10 and had come up with many ways to torture him for it! LOL. Jennifer was on her fourth half. We chatted and complained about the non-ending rain for quite awhile.

Little did I know that we would enter the neverending forest for the longest 4 miles of my life! It was a creepy little area and we were certain there were serial killers lurking about around there. Definitely should not have been at the end of the race! I would have preferred starting there than finishing there for sure!

The continuous rain and puddles were not a great comfort to my very sore toes. Every time I hit a puddle the toes that had blisters stung so that was not helpful at all. I continued on and prayed for the end of the forest multiple times. I grew irritated at the volunteers on the course who gave tons of misinformation about mileage and water stations and medical tents. Mostly, I was seriously drenched, no drowned, by the rain and I was tired and I was ready to get off my feet and take the shoes off!

But I soldiered on, helping Jennifer and Chantelle along. They were definitely a comfort to me in that I would have been way more focused on the pain had I not found them! So, when it came to the point we were finally finishing, I had gotten a little bit farther ahead and I stopped, turned around and waited for them to catch up to me, so we could cross the finish line together. After 10 miles together, we ran very slowly our finish line.

I was greeted by Jason and Laura. We headed over to the tables and picked up post-race snacks and then headed to the car to get out of the rain! I have never been so happy to put on warm, dry clothing in my life! And taking the shoes off was awesome, but my poor feet are so sore and so torn up right now, I think I will likely be off of them for awhile!

I was happy with the course right up until the forest. Since I am not a trail runner and not a huge fan of trail running, that made me pretty miserable. However I am so super proud of Laura for finishing her very first half marathon and doing it in under 3 hours. She did amazing and I am glad that I was able to be here with her!

As for me, I am calling for at least a week of rest and recovery for me and my feet and then I will be back out to get some more mileage in to get ready for Myrtle Beach next month!

I Love My Kids...

Okay, so I did not give birth to them and I am not raising them, but well, I am going to claim them anyways. I absolutely adore my sister's kids! There, I said it! This past weekend I was able to spend some good quality "Aunt Lissa" time and it was nothing short of awesome!!!

When I arrived at my sister's house, I had just pulled in and opened the car door and was greeted by my favorite 6 year old, Trent, running across the yard to me. He jumped into my lap and gave me the biggest hugs and kisses ever!!! It was by far the best welcome that I have received ever!! Talk about feeling completely loved and adored!! I asked Trent where his siblings were and he informed me that the others do not love me as much as he does and that is why he was the only one to run to greet me! I found that completely adorable :)

After my amazing greeting from Trent, I did receive several hugs and kisses from Trevor, Tyler and Kelsey. I also got lots of quality talk time with the kids. Friday night, Trent crawled on top of me on the sofa and looked through the pictures on my phone. He talked to me about my half marathons, lifting weights, and medals. He even picked out specific medals that he really wanted :) I love that kid!

Trevor and I talked about running and reading and a couple other things. He is big into football and also loves watching wrestling, so I got to hear about that as well! It's hard to believe how much he has grown up. I can barely believe that he is going to be 12 this year, but he is. He is so mature.

Tyler had lots to tell me. He usually does. He is a wealth of information both useful and useless...he chatters on like a chipmunk :) He is a good kid and has a good heart. He told me all about the fun that he has been having with their new puppies, Roxy and Rusty. We also talked about his Flat Stanley that I will be mailing back out to him.

And Kelsey, my sweet princess, and I had some good girl talk. We talked about manicures and pedicures, dresses and being a drama queen (her Tervis Tumbler says that and she found it awesome that I was drinking my coffee out of it!) She told me about her dance recital that is coming up. She is taking tap, jazz and ballet and she is really great! She is all legs and I look forward to seeing the video of the recital so I can see her dance!

My sister got married on Saturday in Virginia Beach. Her new husband is a great guy and a very welcome addition to our family. He also has a son, Brok, who is a great kid. I look forward to getting to know him better over the years and letting him know that Aunt Lissa loves him too! He and I talked a bit as well. He is very polite and also a very welcome addition to the family!

Aunt Lissa got a bit more quality time with Trent and Kelsey since they spent the wedding night with me in my hotel room. The two fought over who was going to sleep in the bed with me and I decided that since Trent was younger that he would. Kelsey accepted this but when it came time to go to sleep, she got a bit upset. So, Aunt Lissa decided to move the two double beds and make one really big bed so we could all sleep together. I couldn't bare upsetting either of them, so it worked out really well! I did however get to sleep in the crack for awhile and then both kids are such wild sleepers that I ended up getting smacked and kicked quite a bit throughout the night! It sure is a good thing I love them :) LOL

Anyways, I really enjoyed my time with the kids. I may not have any children of my own but these are definitely my kids. They have my heart and soul and I am completely wrapped around their fingers. Aunt Lissa would do anything for them.

When I was driving back Monday, I missed them so much. I also started thinking about when I could visit them again or if I could possibly convince my sister to let them come to stay with me a bit over the summer. I really hope that I can talk her into that one! Either way though, I need to get more time in with my kids!

Aftermath of my Double Workout

To say that I possibly may have overdone my workouts on Monday is to say that I was my normal self. LOL. Yes. I managed to get two workouts in Monday. I hit the gym early for a killer upper body workout with Tripp. Of course, he managed to pick my most hated exercises to focus on for that workout and multiple sets and reps later, I was completely and totally trashed and still hate them (mostly!) Then, he gave me a workout plan for my lower body workout with Lindsay. He wanted me to KILL her in 30 minutes and then put her through about 12 minutes of cardio.

Well, I am not certain if I killed her. I almost made her puke and to be quite honest, I almost puked multiple times during the workout. So. I think it was a pretty killer workout. In fact, my poor quad cramped when I went to show her walking lunges and I was not sure I was going to be able to get back up! And my legs were so very sore Monday night and yesterday and they are just plain miserable today!

I was so exhausted physically on Monday that when Tuesday morning rolled around and it was time to get up, I was still dreaming. I dreamed that someone was in my house. I could hear noises just as if someone was in the house. My subconscious reminded me that the alarm was set and since I had not heard it go off that I was indeed home and safe. However, my mind was struggling to wake me up and get me to move my body. I could not open my eyes or move a single muscle in my body in the dream. I struggled with the idea for a few more moments until my mind said screw it, the alarm is set, just sleep. I woke up a short time later and realized, I need better dreams. And probably more sleep!

I will probably hit another double workout in the future. Two-a-days are quite insane but I know I pushed myself to the limit and held nothing back. That is a good day and a great workout. Now, I have several very busy days ahead to the weekend and I am looking forward to enjoying some chill time over the weekend. Then next week, I will likely put in at least one two-a-day and see what next week holds.

I actually signed up to be a race marshall at the Palmetto Half Marathon which I think will be fun and interesting. It will be my first chance to see it from the view of the spectator/side lines/cheerleading sections. I am psyched that I decided to volunteer. I have no idea what my duties will entail, but I guarantee you that when the runners pass by me no matter where they are in the pack, they will feel encouraged!!!

Anyways, lots to do. So, I am going to head to bed.

Running Is Hard...Recovery Is Harder...

Even though my poor body is completely and totally trashed, all I really have wanted to do for the past two days is get back to training. Physically, I absolutely cannot run and I cannot lift. Mentally, I am ready to get back to work. This is one of the most frustrating parts for me. I know I have to wait and give my body enough time to fully recover from the torture I just put it through, but I also know that I have lots more work to do.

Yesterday, I had a strategy meeting with Tripp to discuss what my next steps will be. I will be honest, I knew exactly what he was going to say about a lot of things before we had lunch. But I needed to hear him say those things to me. He has a way of reminding me of things that I know without making me feel stupid for needing to hear them again. One thing he likes to remind me is that I already know everything I need to do...I am not new to this. I have been doing this for awhile now. Even so, it is always good to have him give me the mental kick in the butt that I need!

So, I have a plan of attack. I know what I need to do. And now I am ready to get to work. Unfortunately, until my body is a bit more mended, I cannot start working. My hope is that by tomorrow my upper body will feel well enough for me to hit the gym...we shall see. I already know that the lower body is going to need an additional day, so I am prepared for that. I plan to do some stretching tonight which should help everything quite a bit. Depending on how badly the legs feel, I may hit the foam roller tonight...definitely will be doing it tomorrow.

I am thankful to have a good friend who will help me to refocus when I need it. He has always been great about getting my head back in the game. And even when I screw up or don't do what we both know I need to, he continues to encourage and support me. I am thankful for that!!

NC Half Marathon 03/25/2012

I signed up for this race with one thought in mind...I will get a PR. LOL. Silly Melissa! I really wanted to do this because my Dad was a huge Nascar fan and well, the medal was super cool looking! The idea of running on the speedway was super enticing, so I figured why not. It's an inaugural race and I am all good for a fun race.

To be quite honest, before the race even got here I had issues. (What's new!) I had to take some time off from training in the gym and on the road because I was experiencing some back pain, super tight hamstrings and a little bit of exhaustion. I was tired...all the time. So, before the race even got here I was going in with issues. I got two and a half hours of massage done to help out the hamstrings which alleviated most of the back pain. But my sleep was way off...lots of insomnia!

And then, I made rookie mistakes going into this. Feeling as tired as I was, I slacked on my normal packing preparations. I did not bring my knee support that I wear occasionally (hence I had some knee issues during the race). I did not get enough potassium in the week (to two weeks) before the race. I also went into the race slightly dehydrated which is highly unusual for me. I forgot tissues for the port-a-potty (there was a lack of pre-race bathrooms and since I was early I got lucky there!) I didn't sleep well the night before...it was worse than ever before. All in all just a rough start for this race.

Since we were in Charlotte, we made a stop by my favorite tavern there, Solstice Tavern for lunch. Then we popped in to see Matt Terry at Fu's Custom Tattoos to get a date in the books for some more work on my tattoo. I have yet to get my 3 flowers from last year. So, we scheduled an appointment for June in which he will do 6...yes, 6 flowers!! Crazy, I know, but I want to get it caught up :) And by June, I will have completed two more races!!

We hit the expo on Saturday after lunch. It was a very small expo with really only two vendors and there was not much else. They had promos for the Divas Half Marathon at Myrtle Beach and the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon which are their sister races. But other than that, there was packet pickup. So, we did not spend a whole lot of time there. I could have done the Richard Petty driving experience but opted not to since I would be running the Charlotte Motor Speedway!

I did my best to get to sleep early Saturday night. I was terrified for some reason that I was not going to wake up on time. I set the hotel alarm, got a wake up call and set the alarm on my phone. All alarms staggered at different times in case one got missed or I happened to fall back asleep. Yep, I am that anal :) LOL! I took something to help me sleep that night and got maybe two hours of sleep before I started waking up every hour on the hour.

By the time 5:30 rolled around, I was really tired and could have used a cup of coffee. I got myself up and moving. I ate a small breakfast...which was the first of my rookie errors. I ate less than what I normally eat before a run. I didn't get enough in my system before the start. I would learn how badly that would affect me later in the run.

We got to the track early which was good because I was able to get into the bathroom line from the start. There was a huge lack of bathrooms and no port-a-potties. Hopefully since it was an inaugural event, they will fix this in the years to come! And then it was kinda confusing because people were hanging out in the garage at pit row and some people were on the track. It was a bit odd. Eventually after hanging out in pit row for awhile, I headed out to the track and got lined up.

The hip was sore this morning. It was a bit chilly out and I could feel it in my hip. I tried to stretch it and warm it up but nothing made my hip happy today. It probably has a little something to do with the fact that I had a leg day on Thursday before the race. I thought I was taking it a bit easy, but apparently, I was not! Yay me!! So, hip pain and glute pain were not fun at the start of the race!

The race started late which was unusual. Supposedly someone sang the national anthem but I never heard it! I started off pretty strong, still trying to ease the hip into the race. It was tough and I thought it had started to loosen up a bit, but it was actually getting tighter which was crazy! I distracted myself with running around the race course. I mean, cars speed around this track so I enjoyed that part. I got to see several cars along mile markers. I met Tammy pretty early in the race. She was recovering from a broken foot and moving along about my pace, so I asked if I could hang with her.

Tammy was my hero today. I learned relatively soon into the race that not only was my hip and my glute in severe pain, but I started to feel a bit nauseous. I have never puked on a race course, but today I wish I had because I think I would have felt better. I tried alternating water and gatorade at the stops. By mile 6, I pulled out my honey stinger chews and ate half of them. I had hoped that perhaps I just needed some fuel. I still felt a bit sick. So, I decided to slow down the water and gatorade and the chews to see if that helped. I managed to keep everything in which was by no means a small feat.

I am certain I slowed Tammy down quite a bit. Luckily, she had a similar mindset to me...it's all about the finish. Neither of us cared about PRs and we both just wanted to finish. I kept telling her if she needed to leave me behind since I was getting slower with the pain to go ahead but she hung with me all the way! Thank goodness!

The hills in this course were a bit insane!! Every time we went up another hill, my body screamed "why are we doing this?" And I just soldiered through because stopping was going to be more painful (or at least that is what I tell myself!) About mile 10, my feet were hurting so bad and I could not figure out why at the time. Then mile 11.5, I slowed a bit more because I almost passed out. (I didn't say anything to Tammy because I didn't want to stop!) I slowed a bit and tried not to overdo it. I pulled out my Sport Beans and had a few of them to try and help out in case the blood sugar was off. The nausea returned! When we finally saw mile 13, I was more than relieved. I was overjoyed. The closer we got to the finish line, I thought "I can drop dead as soon as I cross!"

About the time we were closing on the finish line, my favorite song by Kelly Clarkson came on,"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger." I teared up a bit and turned to Tammy and pointed to the cones just a bit ahead. I told her when we got to those cones, we run. I had already used what was in my reserve tank. I had nothing left but I was so going to run that finish line if it killed me. That song was on for a reason. So, we ran. It was not a pretty run by any means! But we ran that finish line and got our medals. After they placed the medal around my neck, I realized how insane that was because my poor body started to just falter. I was barely able to stay upright. I was barely moving at all. And I just seemed to realize that I would have to walk at least a mile back to my car.

Tammy called Jason and he met us back in pit row while we were getting bananas and grapes. I found a chair and sat down. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get back to the car. We started walking out very slowly...the only reason I know we were moving is because I was gaining ground (just barely!) Luckily, a golf cart was headed our way and graciously took us back to the car.

We grabbed a couple pics at the car. Then headed to the hotel where I took the first of two ice baths and some ibuprofen. I have either severely bruised one of my toes or I am about to lose the toenail (since I painted them last week, I have no idea what it looks like, but it hurts and the toenail is seriously loose!) My calves, hamstrings, quads and glutes are trashed. My feet are so sore and I am waddling like a duck. My upper body is tight and in a lot of pain too. I got a lot of sun but I don't think I got burned. I may have had a bit of heat exhaustion or just dehydration after the race. The ride home was definitely uncomfortable. After my second ice bath, I slept for a couple of hours.

All in all, for an inaugural race, it was good. It was hot and being on the blacktop made it hotter! I am thankful for the camaraderie of fellow runners and especially for Tammy who helped me finish today. I love the running community and the fact that there are those of us out there who know that there is more to a race than hitting your PRs. Sometimes it is about helping others cross the line in spite of pain and suffering...that big medal sure does feel good around your neck. Almost makes you feel invincible!

I have two more races coming up...I am certain I will make some changes to my training but for now, I am going to rest and focus on recovery.

Best thing ever was that my dear friend Tripp informed me that I am a clutch competitor. He told me I perform better under pressure than anyone he knows. It was awesome to read that when I finished my race. I look forward to some great strategy sessions with him for my next two races!!

Life Lessons

I have started quite a few posts lately but for some reason or another, I have not posted anything. Life has been crazy, busy, uncomfortable and odd. For those who do not know, I am no longer working at the nutrition store. It was a difficult decision but ultimately though it is a field that I love and I was very good at my job, the situation did not quite work out like I had hoped it would. Oddly enough, lately I feel like I can say that about a lot of things in my life.

I have had a week and I am really looking forward to the weekend and some rest and a lot of fun. I spent most of the beginning of this week a complete and total train wreck. There was a lot of crying, some self-pity, some self-hatred, and just a whole lot of me being completely broken. I cannot pinpoint exactly what was going on that caused all of it or if everything just hit me at the right point when I was all hormonal to begin with. Either way, it happened and it has not been an easy time, but it got me to thinking about a couple of things.

After spending a couple of days just out of control, I realized what if this season that I am going through is not about me? What if everything I am going through is to in some way or another put me in the right position for someone else who needs me? What if the things I am experiencing are there so I can be there for someone else? Sure, I likely have a lot to learn through all of this, but I found it interesting that certain things have happened that likely would not have happened if the current circumstances were not going on. So, maybe it's not all about me.

However, one thing I have absolutely determined is that right now while everything is out of control, I am going to let it go. That's right...the control freak is going to let it go and just see where it goes from here. I have spent way too much of my life trying to control everything. Deep down I think that habit comes from fear. I think I am afraid of not being in control because I don't know what to expect next. And what is wrong with not knowing everything about everything? Maybe it's the only way for my brain to actually shut off. And maybe it's the only way for me to stop trying to do it all alone. Perhaps one of my worst traits is that I have a hard time asking others for help. I feel like I am burden on others, a pest, like my problems are irrelevant to my friends and family. I don't know why I feel that way but I have been like that for a very long time. I have been told that I could never truly be a damsel in distress...I would never allow a knight in shining armor to come in and save me because I would be like the drowning victim and fight it the entire time. So, maybe now is a time for me to learn that I am not in control and that I do need to ask for help before things become too insane!

So, perhaps this season of my life is here to not only teach me some things about myself and help me to break some bad habits but more importantly, perhaps all the stuff that is going on is really so that I can be available to others. Perhaps the reason behind all of the insanity is that I am helping someone else while I go through this storm. Perhaps I need to be completely broken for a little while so that I can figure out how to put all the pieces back together without the negativity and fear. Perhaps I have a lot to learn about trusting others to be there for me when I need them.

Right now, I am just going to focus on being open to what I need to learn from all of this. I am going to work on being me...minus the stress and negativity that has been overwhelming me. And I am going to stop blaming myself for things that have nothing to do with me. Enough is enough. It's time to let it all go and reclaim what I know is out there for me.

Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright...

I have been singing this Bob Marley song in my head for the past two days. Some things have changed in my life lately. The main one being that I have had a HUGE reduction in my stress levels. I won't go into a lot of details about it, but I will say that I am pretty happy to have the largest source of stress in my life reduced.

I have some great plans coming up. I am going to be having lunch with some good friends this coming week that I have not had the opportunity to do lately. And at the end of the week, I am heading up to Virginia to spend some overdue quality time with my Mom, sister and my niece and nephews. It is going to be AMAZING!! I have missed them all so much the past several months and I am going to have a blast with them!!

So, though I have had some changes that were not quite expected this past week, I know and believe that "every little thing is gonna be alright." I have no regrets.

Give Up the Excuses...

We all make excuses. We have millions of them. There are excuses for why we cannot do the things that we need to do and reasons why we don't achieve the goals we set out.

I am not going to lie to you, I still have excuses. They pop up and I try to see them for what they are...roadblocks! Seriously, you work hard and so do I. After a long nine hour day, who wants to head to the gym and punish their body further? That is where the excuses come in, like....I am tired. I am sore. I am frustrated. The list goes on and on. But the truth is, we all fall victim to them from time to time. So, how do you avoid them?

Well, honestly, I have had a million reasons not to make my workouts the past couple of weeks. I have been exhausted and frustrated and just didn't feel like doing anything. At the end of the day, I chose not to listen to those voices that were telling me to just go home and get some rest. I chose to do what I knew I needed to do. I missed one workout this week because my body gave up on me not because I didn't try to get it in. I was sleep deprived from being at the ER all night with my husband and exhausted from trying to make everyone happy. So, I missed one workout this week but it was not because of any excuses. I chose to listen to my body and allow myself some recovery and sleep to recharge the body.

And there are a million and one reasons for me not to eat the foods I should be eating. This week was particularly stressful with the hubby ending up in the ER and me having to stress over all of that. I had a lot to do but I also was craving comfort foods. I was desperate to eat something that I knew I shouldn't. Instead of giving into that craving, I resisted it. I ate the foods I knew I needed to and avoided the temptation. It was not easy at all. But the truth is, I am committed to doing what I need to do in order to reach my goals. I refuse to allow excuses to be the roadblocks to my success. I am committed to the work that it takes to get where I want to be. And that is why I will be successful . I will not give in to those excuses that threaten to keep me from my goals.

So, what excuses are you allowing to keep you from your goals? Do you really want to be successful? How will you combat those negative thoughts and push through to get to your goals?

Remember no one said this was going to be easy...but it is definitely worth it.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Okay...I won't lie. I LOVE the A-Team. And I love the quote in my title from Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith :)

Things are going really well with my new plan. I have been focusing this past week on getting everything right. I know it's not going to be perfect but I am trying to stick as closely as I can to the new plan. Each day brings new challenges since I am not 100% familiar with everything yet.

I was out of town this weekend visiting with a friend's family. The mom is a dear friend and she is in the hospital and I wanted to make sure Dad had some home-cooked meals. So, I took some of my recipes from Marc Lobliner up there to cook. They were a hit. The chicken parmesan recipe was hands down the absolute best chicken parm I have EVER had. It was extremely healthy and delicious!!! And my friends loved it too!!

And the exciting part is that I am seeing progress. Only one week in and I am down 5 pounds. I didn't even get all my workout sessions in this week. Since I was out of town, I did not make my exercise plans but my diet was spot on with the exception of my free meal (and that was spot on too!) So, this was a successful week!!

Anyways, I had an amazing leg workout yesterday and a fantastic chest and triceps workout tonight!! I am looking forward to some abs and cardio tomorrow!!

Things are moving along and I am really enjoying being back on plan and getting back to business!

What A Difference A Week Makes...

Last week, I was attempting a low-carb food plan for awhile. I was tired and not really feeling great about the idea of eating low carb for a very long time. My workouts were going well but I was still unsure about the direction of my food.

Enter the Machine, Marc Lobliner, and I have a brand new food plan and a new workout plan. I have a whole new supplement plan as well. It's crazy how things changed so quickly. I just filled out all the information he needed on Friday and very early Saturday morning I had a complete plan customized just for me and my goals. This is so amazing! I was so excited I ordered all my new supplements right away. I decided that even though I did not have everything I needed, I was going to do my best to start following the plan on Sunday.

So, I did. I got up that morning and started following my new food plan. It was not easy and Sunday was not perfect because it was new to me but I made my best effort. Monday was better and today was pretty darn close to perfection. So, each day it gets easier and more fluid.

And I am eating things I have never eaten before...brussel sprouts. Who would've thought that I would love these things because I have always hated them in the past!!! But I made Marc & Katie Lobliner's roasted brussel sprouts and they were delicious!!! I am also eating a ton of eggs and egg whites. It is unusual for me because I am not overly fond of eggs. I still don't love them but at least I am getting used to eating them. It's not so bad when I mix in some other stuff to make it better. And I eat a ton of spinach, tons of it. I kinda love that too. Crazy, huh? And it is pretty amazing that some of the foods I am eating eliminated some of the supplements that I was taking....it's so cool!!

Other weird changes for me is meal prep. I am prepping food for my entire day the night before. It used to be I would come home and go to bed after a little while or I would wake up early enough to head in to work on time. Now, I am staying up late and preparing my food for the next day which means no eating out or missing meals. It is insane. The last two nights on my way home from the gym I had to stop at the grocery store and pick up food to make my meals for the next day. It is not quite like me but I kinda love it. I love knowing that my food is available and ready for me when I get up and that my entire day is planned out foodwise. It means no thinking and no worrying about what I will eat. It also means I try very hard to stick to a schedule for eating on time.

Today, I got to meet the man behind my new meal and workout plan. Marc Lobliner is completely and totally amazing! He is smart, funny and outspoken. I enjoyed visiting with him today and getting the opportunity to know him a bit better. And I look forward to achieving results with him because I know this plan is going to get me to my goals and I simply cannot wait!!! I feel so blessed that he has given me such a gift and I will be working my butt off (literally) to get those results!!

Yesterday I did my high intensity cardio and I am not sure I have ever sweated so much. It was insanely crazy but awesome! Tonight, Tripp helped me go through my first leg workout written by Marc. It was so intense and I am not 100% certain I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow. And I LOVE it :) Tomorrow morning I will be heading to the gym early to get my workout in before work.

Here's a pic of me with Marc in my store today:

Anyways, I will keep you all posted!

Time to Go to WORK!!

Lately I have been struggling with my schedule and with my diet and well, to be quite honest with some complacency. Having become fed up with the struggles, I decided to get rid of them and get back to work. I have taken too long off from working towards my goals and I am ready to get back in the game and get to my goals. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions and I am not planning on listing out all my goals here either. What I will say is that I am back and better than ever. I am committed and in the game and doing the work.

This week I have had two freakin' AMAZING workouts. I am talking workouts that had me so sore that it was like I had just started strength training. And the great thing about these workouts is that I pushed myself and lifted heavier than I thought I would. I admit I am still testing out the strength in this wrist and though I am working into it slowly, I am no longer allowing FEAR to guide me. Instead, I make the attempt and if it bothers the wrist then I adjust. I got really tired of being afraid with my hip and I let that fear guide me and keep me down awhile after surgery. So, this time around, I decided to kick fear in the butt and keep moving. My wrist needs to get stronger and it will not do that if I do not put the challenge out there. I am no idiot so I clearly won't be doing anything to cause reinjury and will work within the doctor's guidelines, but I am going to test the waters.

So, maybe this year is going to be about testing the waters. Maybe it's going to be about working my butt off some more. Regardless, it is my year and I refuse to waste another moment of my life feeling complacent. Marc Lobliner is an amazing guy in the supplement industry. He is a trainer, a husband, a father, a business owner and a pretty awesome guy. He used to be the CEO of the company that made one of my favorite supplements, Xtend. Well, he says that "Complacency is mediocrity." I don't want to be mediocre. I want to be extraordinary. So, why am I settling?? No more.

So, I am back on plan and it is exciting. It is insanely crazy how much I love the aches and pains I am feeling from my workouts. But I missed it...the insanity, the intensity, the fun. I love being back in the game. I am not going to let anything get in between me and my time. I crave it and need the workouts. And I am not going to let my diet go by the wayside for something easier or more convenient or anything else.

And what's really exciting for me is that I get to meet Marc Lobliner next week. You should follow him on Facebook and check out his videos. The man is literally a machine. I love his commitment to what he believes in and I love that he is just downright honest. He has some awesome videos with recipes and reviews of supplement products too. Here is a link to his Facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/MarcLobliner Check it out....follow him. He knows his stuff.

Well, time for me to try and get this adrenaline rush from tonight's workout to chill out because I need some sleep so I can hit the gym for some cardio tomorrow morning before work :) Night all!!