Focus...

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. (Alexander Graham Bell)

When I am working out with Tripp sometimes, he will occasionally ask me what muscle I am working. The purpose for this is so that I will focus on the work at hand. If I am focusing on the muscle groups that are being used to do the particular exercises and focusing on my form, I will get a more isolated and intense workout for those muscles and that movement.

I think it's important to remember this not only during strength training but also during my cardio. If I am focusing my energies on the task at hand, the intensity of my workout increases, my calorie burn increases and I experience better results. Also, I am paying much closer attention to correct form which helps to prevent injuries.

If I keep my focus on what I am doing, rather than making a laundry list of all the things I have to do during my workout, I feel more challenged. I experience muscle failure from the intense focus! And honestly, I feel like I got an amazing workout in when I am completely focused!

Lately, I have not been as focused as I have needed to be during my workouts or my cardio. As a result, even though I have gotten some awesome workouts in and have seen good results, I have not been as motivated as I needed to be. My training for my half marathon was not where it needed to be. My focus was not where it should have been. I was all over the place.

After this last half marathon, my focus has re-shifted. I am ready and committed to getting down to work and seeing if I can reach my goals for my running. I am ready to re-evaluate where I was and where I want to be. I look forward to my strength training with Tripp and I look forward to getting my running and cardio re-focused and ready to get me to the finish line!

Now that I am so focused, I wonder why I let other things blur my focus. How did I lose sight of the prize? Why did I let my frustration keep me from achieving the things I wanted? One of my biggest problems was I let my irritation over not the infertility keep me from where I wanted to be. That coupled with the hip surgery from last year really blurred everything. So, what's different? The hip is healing. It still has good days and bad days. It occasionally still hurts. But the better I train and the more focused I am on getting it back to 100%, the better it will be. The infertility issue is not one I have tackled but I am aware that I let it break my concentration for too long. And honestly, I just have to let it go so that I can continue on my path to reaching my goals.

Also, I had not re-evaluated my fitness goals. Periodically, I find it necessary to re-evaluate and recharge my thinking there. I knew I wanted to run six half marathons but I didn't set any real goals for them. I think part of me was afraid I couldn't/wouldn't rise to the challenge. Another part of me was not certain what goals I wanted to lay out in front of me. Now, I am ready. I am about to throw everything I can into my training so that I can achieve what I want. I am going to be sitting down in the next few weeks and rewriting my fitness goals. It's time and I'm ready.

What is blurring your focus? What things do you need to let go or acknowledge as a distraction from your goals? Are you continuing to set achievable goals during your journey? Are you focused on the task at hand?

I challenge you to keep your eyes on the prize. Know what you want and reach for it! No excuses!

Challenges

Just because you've always done it, doesn't mean you must continue. Just because you've never done it, doesn't mean you cannot start now. (Ralph Marston)

I love this quote. It is so true. I find often that we sit back and wait for things that we want to happen to finally come true. I was that way with weight loss for the longest time. I wanted to be fit. I wanted to lose weight. I would put in a half-hearted effort and expect to see results. So, I would continue on and believe that the reason I couldn't lose weight was because nothing worked for me. The truth is that even when I was putting in more than a half-hearted effort, I was not committed fully to the endeavor. What I was attempting was really more of a short-term fix instead of a long-term change. Until the journey became about my life and about changing my life, nothing changed. Until I finally challenged myself to be all that I wanted to be, I was never going to get there.

How often do we look at the challenges ahead of us and become so overwhelmed by the task that we quit before attempting it? How many times do we think about things that sound interesting or fun and decide that we cannot do these things because we've never done them before?

This journey I am on has been a long one and many ask me if my journey is over. And honestly, it's not. I am still actively working on my weight loss and I am still working towards new fitness goals. I tell people that my journey evolves with me because I am not the same person I was when I started. Along the way, my goals and thoughts change. When I started this, I had no idea and certainly no desire to run, much less start competing in half marathons. I would've laughed at you for suggesting it back then. Now, it's a part of my life. It's a challenge that I continually put out in front of myself. Was it a bit ambitious to challenge myself to do 6 half marathons in one year? Perhaps. Or perhaps it was about challenging myself to think outside of the box, to reach for greater things than I could've expected, or even to see myself in a different light? Whatever the underlying reason might have been, the reality is that I have been challenged this year by the first three half marathons.

My friend that I met at the Marine Corps Historic Half this past weekend had run several marathons and half marathons and made the very correct statement that no matter how many races you run of the same distance or even on the same course, each race presents new and different challenges. It's very true. I have competed in several races multiple years and no race is quite the same. Sometimes it's little things...changes in training, mental preparedness, race strategies, unexpected injuries...whatever it is, there is challenge there.

The truth is that I do love a challenge. I like to constantly better myself and look for opportunities to move beyond my capabilities. I strive to increase my fitness level. I want to be a better runner. I am challenging myself to take my running to the next level. And though sometimes I am not quite up to the challenge I present myself, other times I exceed my own expectations for it.

Right now, I am realizing that just because I can complete a half marathon without proper training, does not mean I should. Also, I know that if I am truly to exceed my own expectations and to reach my goals, then I must better prepare myself. It's one of the reasons that I am truly excited about the work that Tripp and I are doing together. Our training is working. We've been working together for two weeks and not only have I seen greater increase in strength, endurance and stamina, but I have also seen weight loss. I feel like I am getting back on track and on my way back towards my fitness goals. I sincerely desire to be a better runner. Part of that requires weight loss because running will be easier and require less effort with less body weight. And the other part requires more dedication to proper eating and strength training which enables my body to better face the challenges that running presents. So, now I continue on with the work that Tripp and I have been focusing on and I start putting more emphasis into my running form and skills. I expect to see much improvement in my racing in the fall if I put more time and dedication into this endeavor.

And when I reach those goals, there will be something new and exciting to follow. I am not ready to settle down and I am certainly not ready to give up!

Life is challenging and it's unexpected at times. But without challenges, can there truly be change? If we continue to live as we always have, can we possibly grow or become better than we are? Are there areas in your life that you need to challenge? Look at your life and see where you have grown complacent or overly comfortable. Step out of that comfort zone and reach towards something greater. A life well-lived is a life that is full of trial and error, successes and failures, but in the end, that life is actually lived instead of endured.

Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon...May 15, 2011

I eyeballed this race several times before actually signing up for it. I began looking at it back in January thinking it would be nice to run a race in Virginia when it was not too terribly hot. The final decision came in when I competed in the Columbia Half Marathon in March and was unable to complete it due to a stomach virus...I knew that if I wanted to achieve my goal of 6 half marathons in 2011, I was going to have to find another spring half. With that in mind, I signed up for it.

After the wonderment of the Palmetto Half Marathon in April, I decided to try and take my training a bit more seriously and asked my dear friend and trainer, Tripp, to help me out. So, we have been training for the past two weeks and working towards getting me ready. I knew it was not enough time to challenge myself to reach for a PR, but I also knew it would be better than my last half where I ran/walked it with a broken pinky toe and twisted ankle. So, my goal was truly to come in at least 10 minutes under my time for that half.

The weather for this race was really questionable. I seriously thought it was going to pour down raining. So, I planned for it by wrapping my iPod in plastic prior to the race. There was no way I was doing this without my music and my special mp3s that Tripp recorded for me. And those mp3s were so worth it!!!

We got to the start/finish line early Sunday morning. I wanted to make sure that my dear friend, Ann, who accompanied me was going to have a good spot to stay where we would not have to worry too much about me finding her at the end of the race. They allowed us to park in the start area since Ann had a broken foot. It was a good spot because she was right at the finish line and able to wander among the few vendors at the end and the VIP tent.

At 6:30, the opening ceremony began. Drew Carey was running his first ever half marathon and spoke at the beginning. I believe he also may have started the race by shooting the gun at 7 a.m. A couple others spoke and the race was under way. This was much larger than the races I have been in lately...close to 6000 people were competing. It took me about 5 minutes to actually cross the start line. The miles were very clearly numbered and there were tons of Marines, cops and volunteers along the course. There were no issues with traffic or concerns about cars or anything. They had plenty of water and gatorade along the course. And there were lots of Marines and spectators out and about to cheer you on. It was also a pretty run.

It ended up not raining and the sun came out and made for a much warmer run than I expected. I was focused though on my run. I purposely avoided making friends and kept my eyes on the prize...the finish line. This was a hilly course. I didn't mind the downhills but the hill around mile 11 that led into mile12 was painful!!! After two weeks of serious training, I knew that I could not expect miracles or perfection, so my goal was simple...enjoy the run and finish the race.

At just the right times in the race, inspirational messages from Tripp popped up on my iPod or songs that remind me of my running buddies or just the right song to push me along. But about mile 10, I experienced some of the most severe pain I have ever felt. I cannot tell you how much I wanted to stop moving altogether. I tried everything I could to stop focusing on the cramping that started at the bottom of my left calf. I kept moving...much slower at this point, but I kept going forward.

Then, the cramping became spasms in my calf. At one point, the spasms went up and down my left leg and I began dragging the left side of my body along. It was so painful. About then, I happened to notice another runner also having some difficulty. I actually asked her where we were on the course (closing in on mile 11) and if I had to stop at that point, was there a way to get back to the finish line. Somewhere along there we were passing the ER and I debated on making a pit stop there too. My new friend, though, was a former Marine, who was running this with her husband (former Marine also). She was not new to the marathoning world and she was experiencing similar issues. She told me that I was way too far along to give up and that she was going to get me across the line. There was no way I was not going to finish.

I soldiered on but the pain continued to get worse and worse. At one point, I was seriously scared about just how much pain I was experiencing. And then, the spasming decided to spread to the right leg as well. I wish I could tell you my friend's name, but my poor brain was not functioning on very high levels. I can tell you that had it not been for her and her husband, I might not have made those last 3 miles. They kept me focused and kept me going. Along with my special encouragements from Tripp, I was able to get closer to the finish line.

The hardest part for me was the last hill which was uphill right before mile 12!!! And boy was it a hill! I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the top. But, my new drill sergeants would not give up on me! And I knew that I had come too far to stop now, no matter what. With the finish line in sight, I knew I had to do my best to finish strong. So, I sucked up the pain, remembered the goal and ran to the finish line!! And my drill sergeants were right, the feeling at the finish line was so much better than the pain!

It was an honor to have my medal placed around my neck by a Marine and to be congratulated by one of our country's warriors. I thanked every service person I saw. After being awarded two bottles of water, I decided to use one to help cool me down and poured one directly overhead as I was heading to find some fruit and my friend, Ann.

Ann met me near the end of the finish line and told me she found Drew Carey and got some pictures for me and she took me over to where he was. I was able to get about a five minute conversation in with him. We discussed our weight loss and we discussed how we had new goals like being fit and looking good without a shirt! It was awesome. And perhaps it was marathon brain, but I was not starstruck or nervous, I just said, "I'm a huge fan. Can I trouble you for a picture?" And I asked how much weight he had lost (80 pounds) and told him about my journey. It was just awesome!! Here's my pic...

So, it was an awesome experience. It was perhaps one of the best run races I have done and I think I would like to do it again in the future. (Definitely training better next time!) I beat the goal Tripp and I set out for me...which was awesome since I had no idea I was going to experience the calf spasms! But as my Marine friends told me on those last 3 miles, no race is ever the same...no matter if you are competing in one you have done before, trained exactly the same, they are all different and there is always something new and challenging.

However, I am re-focused and recommitted to my training. Tripp is going to keep working with me and I am hoping to see some new and improved numbers in the fall! But I will not lie, I am psyched to get back in the game and start seriously training. Next race is in September! I am going to be so much more than ready!!!

Palmetto Half Marathon Race Report :)

Why is it that every race seems to include some type of injury for me beforehand or during that I have to overcome?? LOL...The Palmetto Half Marathon is no different than the others! On Thursday, I was getting something out of my pantry and had a Tupperware container of coffee filters fall from the top shelf onto my pinky toe on my left foot...and well, there we have a broken pinky. And because I couldn't be done with just one injury for this race, I managed to twist my right ankle, falling and scraping my shin and bruising the middle toe on my right foot as well. Yeah, it was all painful! But I had a race to run and couldn't let a few minor details keep me from it.

In addition to my injuries, my training prior to the race was extremely sporadic and sometimes non-existent. After the Did Not Finish during the Columbia Half, I was having a really rough time staying motivated and fighting the inner voice that kept telling me that walking off a course is going to be easier the second time than it was the first time. So, I was quite nervous and spazzing out. The only saving grace for me was that Cathy agreed to run the race with me at my pace. I felt pretty good that I could make it to the finish line with Cathy spurring me on!

I did contact my favorite trainer, Tripp, and let him know that I was having a difficult time pre-race and needed one of his pep talks. So, I got an awesome pep talk the night before the race from Tripp. He told me a lot of things that I needed to hear. He reminded me that the important thing to remember was to have fun and to finish. He said even if it took me 6 hours to finish that I had to stick with it and complete my race. I was so thankful that he took the time to encourage me and help me out before the race!

On race morning, I was doing pretty well. Other than being a bit tired and needing some caffeine, I was ready. Cathy and I searched for Ricky. We wanted to see Taz!!! I knew he was planning on running the half and we had really hoped to catch him before the race started. It was like playing a game of Where's Waldo! We were calling out for Ricky and searching the crowds. And then, Cathy spotted him!! It was great to see both Ricky and Kathy! We chatted for a few minutes before the start of the race.

Before the race began we were informed that if racing conditions became unsafe during the race that we were on our own and should get to somewhere safe! LOL...apparently there was no way for them to pick up the runners if the race was canceled because weather conditions became worse. At least we were prepared with ponchos in case it rained!

The race started pretty well. It was a bit chilly but not bad once we started moving and the rain seemed to be holding off. I jogged for awhile until my toe began to ache a little bit and I was worrying a little about making sure the hip was warmed up well before pushing it too hard. So, I decided to do some walking and I jogged when I was able to without pain. I kept reminding myself that this race was for fun. I was not concerned about my time. I was concerned about finishing my race. I was so thankful that Cathy was with me because I know there were a couple times early in the race that I thought I was certainly insane for doing this!

Around about mile 4, we picked up a new buddy, Ron. (That's right, even though I had a partner already for the race, I found another friend who was doing his first race and his buddies left him behind! That is apparently my normal race thing!) So, we befriended Ron and continued to encourage him and help him along the way. We had lots of laughs and jokes along the way. We especially enjoyed when the first downpour began, Cathy managed to get into her poncho with a bit of difficulty. However, I opted against it since I was already wet. Shortly after Cathy got her poncho on, the rain stopped and then she was jogging in her poncho and told us it was a bit warm! When she finally took it off, Ron and I were convinced it would start pouring again. And it did :) LOL

It was not the easiest of races. However, we persevered. We were wet, sore, and had sausage fingers, but we kept going! We sent Cathy ahead of us a little before mile 12 because she had a goal of finishing the race before the girl who was ahead of us most of the race (and she did!!!) Mile 12 seemed to be the longest mile ever. I didn't think it was going to ever end. It was a bit of torture because my feet and legs and hips were hurting and there was a short period of a torrential downpour on us. I just wanted to be done. I was tired, soaked and in desperate need of caffeine :) But then the finish line was finally in sight. And we made it. We finished the race and we had fun!!!

I did find this race to be a very well organized race. There were lots of volunteers and the course was marked very well. There was also a good amount of water/gatorade stations with fruit as well. I was very favorably impressed with the set up. I even liked the race shirt :) The course was a bit hilly but overall I felt it was a good course and I would consider running the race again.

So, now I am at home. I had a good post race massage that has helped to ease up the lactic acid in my muscles. And I am chilling with Advil in my system, an ice pack on my pinky toe and drinking lots of water. Tomorrow I know I will be sore but today I am happy. I finished my race and I survived! Ultimately, it was a great day. After some recovery, I will hit the floor running again to get ready for the race in May :)

Raw Honesty

For some reason, I generally don't want this blog to be a place where I post sad or depressing things. I never want to bring people down. So, occasionally, when things are going difficult for me, I tend to not post. I tend to just work through things until I get to a place where things are better or happier, a place where I can post about more positive things. But the truth is that I am being unfair to my readers. Everyday is not sunshiny and wonderful here. I have my moments too, moments of depression, of doubt, of fear, of insecurity. I try to hide those from other people so that I don't become so open and raw that everyone knows everything about me. But today, I will share a little bit of my heart.

This past Saturday, I was scheduled to run a half marathon. It was the same race that I tore my labrum in my left hip in last year. Prior to this race, I had taken a small hiatus from strength training but had full intentions of continuing my mileage so I would be ready for the race. However, my intentions were not lived out due to a huge amount of stress in my life. I had no idea how much stress and depression would enter my life when my best friends both moved away last month. I have depended on them so much for emotional support in the past and not having them there was unbelievably difficult. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to workout. I didn't want to do much of anything. I found myself going through the motions of life. Honestly, with the little bit that I was nourishing my body, I don't even think I could have sustained any type of workout or cardio. So, it was probably for the best that I just didn't feel it. I think the hardest thing about my friends' moving was that I don't get to talk to either of them as much as I would like. Bottom line was that I was just really unhappy and felt very much alone.

So, fast forward to Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning with a horrible stomach ache. I assumed what I was experiencing was just nerves and figured that after I ate things would ease up. I got myself ready and headed out for the race. My stomach was still bothering me when the race started. Then, I made a rookie mistake and started out running way too fast. I was not running my pace but a much faster pace for the first mile. When I realized this, I slowed down but it was too late. I had already put some extra stress on my hip by pushing too hard that first mile. With every mile, my stomach bothered me more and more. And then, my hip began to ache so badly. I kept thinking most of running and racing is mental, so if I can just get my head right then I will be okay. But I could not get my mind off the pain at all. I kept trying to push through. I was struggling so badly at one point that I just started to cry. And fear set in as well. I remembered having pain in my hip last year during the race. I was scared to keep going.

When I reached mile 6, I knew without a doubt that I was not going to finish this race. I knew that to continue on was insanity and would end up causing me to put myself at risk for injury. I knew all those things and my mind had to convince my heart that it was okay to give up. I hate to quit things. Once I start things, I am a finisher. So, this was very difficult for me to walk off of the course knowing that I would not have a glorious finish. I would not be adding another medal to my collection. And it burned me up knowing that I was going to have to add a DNF (did not finish) to my record. But, I also knew that I wanted to be able to do other races in the future. I wanted to be healthy and wanted to finish future races without injury. So, had I continued on in this race, I would risk putting myself out for the rest of the year with an injury or some serious illness since my stomach was still aching.

Sometimes we have to know when to quit. I am a fighter and I hate to give up. However, in life, there are times when we have to weigh our options and know that a DNF today will allow me future amazing finishes. I won't lie this was probably one of the most emotional decisions I have made in some time. But I know I made the right decision. I walked off the course and called my friend Cathy to come rescue me. I knew she would understand as only another athlete could. And I needed the comfort of someone who wouldn't ask too many questions but would let me experience the raw pain of not finishing. I also called my friend, Ann, and talked to her for quite awhile. She is a dear friend and I knew she would understand how much my heart was hurting over this, since I had leaned on her quite a bit in the past few weeks. I found comfort from both Cathy and Ann and I am so thankful for them both.

Even though I walked off the course, I gained some wisdom from this race. I learned that I have to listen to my body better. I learned that I have to keep training even when my heart just isn't in it if I have a race scheduled. I think I could have overcome the stomach pains if my hip hadn't begun to hurt but with both areas having pain, it was not an option.

I will admit that Saturday, I was quite embarrassed about having to walk off the course. But today, I realize that there really isn't anything to be embarrassed about. I started the race knowing that I was not physically quite up to the challenge. It takes a lot to get to the starting line especially when you are sick. So, I am not disappointed in myself. I am re-motivated to get back to my training and back to the drawing board.

I hit the gym yesterday and trained myself with my back and biceps routine and did some cardio. It was really hard to have to scale back the weights from what I was doing 3 weeks ago but I knew that I had lost some muscle due to poor nutrition and no exercise. So, though I am not starting over, I am starting fresh. My arms and back are sore today...so I must've done something right.

And I am so thankful for my friends. Though I miss my best friends dearly, I am blessed to have dear friends who will step in and help me in whatever way they can. What a blessing to know you have people you can depend on. I cannot wait to talk to my best friends or spend time with them again, but in the mean time I have dear friends who can help me through the rough spots.

So, there you have it. A peek into some very raw emotions and circumstances in my life. It's not pretty, but it's honest.

Digging Deeper...

Today is the last day of my break. Tomorrow, I jump back into a regular routine. It has been good to have a break from normalcy for a bit. But it is going to be really hard to try and get a normal routine going again! But it is a necessity.

I have set myself some goals for the next few months. And in order to achieve those goals, I have to kick my butt in gear. I have to work really hard to get to those goals. Part of the reason I set those goals was to force myself to work harder and dig deeper. It will be very interesting over the next few months to see how things progress. Since my hip surgery I have been a bit more timid about pushing myself. But I feel good and I feel like my hip is ready for a little more challenge now. Today I sat down and wrote out what I want to see as my workout plan each week. I planned out what body parts would be worked during strength training, what type of cardio and how much and when I would do yoga during the week. I am excited about trying this out and seeing results!!

Also, I recently ordered some books on clean eating. I eat fairly clean for the most part, so I am more excited to look into the specifics of this. But even more so, I am excited to try out some new recipes in the cookbooks I got. I think I am going to have a lot of fun trying out new recipes and seeing how this works in to my current plan! I think I am going to see some great results by trying this!

I am really excited to see how the changes that I am making are going to impact my current plan. Lately life has been so emotional for me. Two of my closest friends move away this month...one to basic training and one to Asheville, NC. It will be weird not having them close enough to reach out to, but I am excited for their opportunities. And then in a few weeks, my hubby, Jason, will begin traveling again for 15 months. He will be gone every week Sunday through Thursday. It's going to be hard but it means that I will be able to really focus on my goals without my cheerleaders. It means I will have to dig deeper to do this on my own for awhile. And I am really thankful that I will still have friends here to help me stay on track!

And with all this going on, I am planning on getting away myself for a bit. I want to get some quality time up in Virginia with my family soon. It has been way too long since I have had a long visit with them. And I am also planning on trying to get up to visit my friend Laura and her family. It has been awhile since they came here to visit and I would love to get a chance to head up there and visit with them for awhile.

So life is getting crazier and busier but I am hoping that I can get back to a regular schedule again. My break was good. It gave me some good quality time to spend with friends and family. But tomorrow, it is back to work again!

Taking A Break

So, I have been taking a small break from strength training since I overdid it a bit last week. After having lunch with Tripp, he agreed that if I stuck with my cardio routine and running schedules, then I could take a break from strength training for awhile. I find it incredibly difficult to change things up but right now, this is completely necessary. I have a lot of stress in my life right now. Some days, it is a bit overwhelming.

Life has just been crazy. Two of my best friends are moving away from here at the end of this month. I will miss them both terribly. And though I can go visit and check in with them, it's not the same as having them local. Also, I have been missing my Mom, Kathryn and the kids a lot. I have not been able to go visit them as often as I would've liked lately. I love spending time with them. I got to see them briefly last week for a quick visit. It was great to see them but it made me miss them even more. I am hoping to find some time in March to go visit. Also, work has been insane. I was helping out with freight and it has been much more stressful than I thought. So, I decided to take a couple of weeks off.

Next week, I will return to my strength training and back to work. With my next half marathon coming up soon, I definitely need to get back to a regular routine. I have set up some more goals for myself and all of those require me to have a regular routine to follow.

Anyways, I am glad to have had some time to rest and time to get my head on straight. I know that every once in awhile it is good to take a break from routine and recover. This also gives me some time to decide how to plan out my new routine and how to maximize it's benefits.