Here it is...finally, my race report. Wasn't sure it was going to get done until later in the week, but here you go....
So, before I give you my race report, I will give you an update on life for me lately. It's been an interesting year. It's hard to believe that I only have 2 more half marathons to complete before I can stick my tongue out at the naysayers who said I was crazy for doing 6 in one year. Yeah, I won't lie, it is part of my motivation :) As usual before I do any race, I somehow manage to injure myself or have some kind of crazy issue...I think that is normal for me. So, right now, I am under the care of the orthopedic surgeon again....Dr. Ekman is taking care of my left wrist. It has been bothering me for about 5-6 weeks and I was finally able to get in to see him yesterday. He believes that it has been injured in the past, though I am unaware of any injuries and so is my mother. In addition to it being completely abnormal (so were my hips! LOL!), arthritis has set in and made lifting and little tasks like opening bottles, driving, etc. painful. So, I am now in a wrist support brace for the next 30 days to try and get it back to normal and I am on anti-inflammatories!! I had gone to see a chiropractor that I could get in to see earlier than Dr. Ekman and found out that they couldn't do anything for my wrist but my back and neck are way out of alignment. So, now I am on the chiropractic route and in a wait and see pattern about the wrist.
So, that is what's going on with me prior to flying out to Philly on Friday. We got into Philly and were able to get our rental car and get to the Expo. And I shopped...found lots of fun stuff...like the perfect shirt for me that says "I Run So I Don't Kill People" and it has the chalk outline. Yeah, I couldn't resist :) The expo was fun. We headed to what Food Network says is the best place for philly cheesesteaks only to find out that no one agrees who makes the best. It was a pretty fabulous philly though! The day before race day, poor hubby forgot that a walking tour would be a bad plan and walked me to death which agitated my hip and legs and back. So, on race morning after standing in the forever long port-a-potty line (and I forgot to stuff my bra! Bad morning). I headed over to join in my corral.
I started off with a pretty good run pace. And then I spotted my kindred spirit. Deanna is a runner who also does the run/walk program and she was injured. She was doing this half marathon with a broken foot. She was only 6 weeks out from the break and was determined to finish. Luckily, she did not require surgery. So, I made Deanna my best friend and decided to do the smart thing and stick with her as she walked it since she was doing about the pace that I wanted at that point. I figured that my neck and back would be helped greatly if I took it a bit easier this early in to therapy. Deanna was a rockstar...we talked the entire time distracting each other from any possible pain. And yes, we finished and finished strong. I had fun. And I remembered my dear friend and ironman, Taz, telling me that I needed to stop pressuring myself and have fun. I never even thought about the time for a second. It was great. Beautiful course. It ended near the steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art where Rocky ran the steps :)
All in all it was a great race. My post race recovery though was not up to standard. I did not factor in a recovery day, so we rushed back to the hotel, got me a shower and packed up and then had lunch and headed to the airport. We managed to fly out standby and got back in earlier than expected. I did not get much sleep Sunday night due to a neighbor whose car decided to have the alarm go off for 4 hours...yes, 4 hours. It was insane and kept me up most of the night. Then, I had to get up early and head out to see Dr. Ekman and then off to the chiropractor. Stop for a quick lunch where I forgot to eat a sufficient amount of carbs and then off to work for 6 hours. Work was fun...I have half marathon brain :) Then I headed to grab dinner quickly and got a post race massage. When I got off the massage table, my body started shaking uncontrollably. I went in to shock. I was able to get the shaking to stop and then headed home where my hubby and my friend helped me in. I got a shower, warmed up and my body began the uncontrollable shaking. I was also fighting a headache all day that wouldn't go away. After trying to go to sleep, I gave up and decided since I was now unbelievably hot to check my temperature and had a nice temp of 101.9. The fever finally broke around 2:30. And of course, after very little sleep, I was up early to get in to work today. It's going to be a really fun week of recovery!! I fully intend to listen to my body and go to bed when I get off work tonight...promise.
But next week, I am gearing up for Myrtle Beach in October. Then a nice recovery run in Savannah. Clearly even though I thought my body could handle what I was putting it through, it let me know otherwise which means I will plan for a much easier day after the race to recover better and much more sleep.
I loved the course in Philly and could absolutely see myself doing it again :)
Showing posts with label races. Show all posts
Showing posts with label races. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
6 Half-Marathons in One Year?!?!?!?!
Yep, that's right. I said it and I am going to do it. I am going to put this as my number one goal for the year 2011. I want to run 6 marathons this coming year. I have been working on my running and working with my trainer, Tripp, on improving my muscle endurance and strengthening my core to be an injury-free runner.
I have been told that running 6 half-marathons in one year is crazy. Well, I started out in 2008 running/walking one half-marathon and that was crazy. Then, 2009 brought 3 half-marathons, 2 10ks, 2 5ks and a hip surgery and that was crazier. So I guess I will have to continue on my path of craziness :)
I am realistic about the half-marathons. I do not necessarily want to get a personal record on every one of them. Although if I did, that would be totally awesome to me :) I will be using some of them as training for the next race. I certainly will do my best in each race and reach for my own personal goals. However, I am not going to stress myself to kill myself each race because that would cause me to burn out before I get to the next one. I have learned to pace myself and will be doing that during training and each race.
And for those questioning my sanity, it's not a bad plan. I know of others who have even higher goals set for themselves for the year. I am a very determined person. I am goal-oriented and I love pushing myself towards my goals. Setting this as my goal for the year will cause me to be focused and ready to go. And I am looking at doing a full marathon in 2012 or later so this will be good training grounds for that.
If I had not been sidelined last year by my hip surgery, I think I might have attempted another half. However, hip surgery and recovery brought me quite a bit of difficulty and stress. In fact, at one point, I was unsure whether I wanted to race again or even run again. There was a period of depression and a period where my mental toughness was called in to question.
Now, I am back and I am stronger. I owe this in part to my trainer, Tripp, and in part to two of my friends who I have done races with, Cathy and Chuck. Tripp has changed up my strength training routines to help me strengthen some areas that will help improve my running and most importantly help me to run injury free. He has helped me to feel like my goals are more than achievable and improved my balance and made me excited about training again. Cathy and Chuck have helped me to focus and kept me going when I didn't want to. They both have encouraged me to keep pushing it. Chuck has even worked with me on improving my running form so that I am a better runner. I am so blessed to have them all in my corner!
So mentally, I am ready for race #1 next weekend. Will I get a PR (personal record)? I don't know. What I do know is that I have a strategy and a game plan. I will be getting some MP3s from my awesome trainer to add to my running playlist...those will be a great encouragement on my run! I will be spending the next few days in preparation for the race. I have one last leg day and a strength training session and a light training day with some stretching planned. I will get a little bit more mileage in this week but nothing crazy.
Come next Saturday morning, the race is on!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon Race Report
I had a great weekend and enjoyed getting to race with Cathy again. I love starting out with her. I know I cannot keep up with her because she is faster than me but I enjoy starting our race out together! She also gives me that nice kick in the butt I need on race day (literally!)
I have to admit that I started this race out once again stuck in my head. Lately, this has not been a great place to be. I continue to struggle with whether or not I want to keep racing, much less running. I also worry about this repaired hip and when and if it will ever be back to 100%. And for some reason, I keep fixating on whether or not I will be able to finish when a race sets a time limit on it!! Ugh!! So, going into a race with these thoughts churning around is not a great feel. Luckily, I also remember my friend, Ricky's last e-mail about my 10-k and his encouragement and I worked on re-focusing!
Saturday morning, I decided to focus myself on a thought from a good friend...”Shut up and run, woman!” LOL! It was a good focus. The morning was perfect for the run...great temperatures and a great course. I was running with a brace on the left knee and a knee strap on the right knee because I had been fighting a little bit of knee pain. I was a bit concerned since I had not run with either of them on before but I had worn them prior to the race to get used to them.
I was on my own for the first 4 miles...I ran as much as I could and then walked in between and kept a really good pace. I refused to look back to see if there was a shuttle following because I knew there was nothing I wanted behind...my medal was at the end of the race and ahead of me. So, I kept my focus on a couple of ladies who were running a similar pace to mine. The first 4 miles were mental for me again. I struggled with just giving up and accepting defeat around mile 2. Somewhere around mile 3, I remembered that I have everything in me to complete this. I have done my mileage and my long slow distance days. The only thing I needed to do was get out of my head and in to my run. So, I decided to kick my own butt. It was also around that time I saw a shirt that read “Dead Last Finish is better than Did Not Finish” So, I knew that I was in it to finish no matter what.
Around mile 5, I ended up running and walking with the ladies that I was following. Of course, I enjoyed some great conversation and made the miles and the time pass quicker. I started feeling some real pain in my left hip around mile 8...I started walking a bit more at that point but did not slow my pace. I also started to feel some blistering happening on my feet. And of course, I felt the urge to pee early in the race. I decided unless the urge became overwhelming that I would not be making a port-a-potty stop since every time I passed one, there were lines. One of the ladies decided to pick up her pace, so the other lady and I continued our race together. It was a good choice because it was her first half and she was struggling. So, we encouraged each other.
I could have left her around mile 12 but she started to really struggle around then and I wanted to help her cross the finish line. She kept looking backwards, so I re-focused her and then we began pushing each other to the finish line. When I finally saw the finish line in sight, I knew I was home free. I had reserved a little energy for my finish. I wanted to make sure I could run across this finish line! So, I took off and finished it strong. I was sore crossing the line but my knees and my hip were not dead.
There were about 4000 people registered for the race. So, I feel pretty great to be one of the 2699 runners to finish the race!
I learned a lot too. I know that I am not 100% recovered from surgery yet and cannot expect to repeat my best time just yet. But I was thrilled to finish this race in 3:16:11 since I finished Nashville this year in 3:19:25. So, with a repaired labrum in my hip and a lot of hard work, I knocked 3 minutes off my time. I figure there is only a matter of several more months and training and I will be hitting under 3 hours since my best time was in Columbia (February 2010) at 3:07. So, I have a goal in mind and that gets me more focused.
In the next couple of months, I will be working with my friend, Chuck, to improve my form in running. Before I tore my labrum, I was on the track to running better. And now, I am struggling with overcompensating for injuries and I am back to square one. Now that I have a good half under my belt and the confidence to head towards my goal of under 3, I will get some great training in and some refocusing and my next half I will be pushing myself even harder across the line!! And I will be reminding myself yet again, that I am so not done with running or racing.
Overall, I felt that they did a great job with the race. Absolutely no safety concerns while running. The police kept the roads clear and I didn't have to worry about being run over. There was also plenty of water and gatorade on the course (and not red gatorade! LOL!) It was a pretty flat course too. I really enjoyed it and am considering running it again next year. I hate the technical shirt...the design was just dull. The volunteer shirt looked much better. But the medal was huge and really heavy! So, I guess they spent their money on the medal. All in all, I felt it was a great race and will likely do it again.
I have to admit that I started this race out once again stuck in my head. Lately, this has not been a great place to be. I continue to struggle with whether or not I want to keep racing, much less running. I also worry about this repaired hip and when and if it will ever be back to 100%. And for some reason, I keep fixating on whether or not I will be able to finish when a race sets a time limit on it!! Ugh!! So, going into a race with these thoughts churning around is not a great feel. Luckily, I also remember my friend, Ricky's last e-mail about my 10-k and his encouragement and I worked on re-focusing!
Saturday morning, I decided to focus myself on a thought from a good friend...”Shut up and run, woman!” LOL! It was a good focus. The morning was perfect for the run...great temperatures and a great course. I was running with a brace on the left knee and a knee strap on the right knee because I had been fighting a little bit of knee pain. I was a bit concerned since I had not run with either of them on before but I had worn them prior to the race to get used to them.
I was on my own for the first 4 miles...I ran as much as I could and then walked in between and kept a really good pace. I refused to look back to see if there was a shuttle following because I knew there was nothing I wanted behind...my medal was at the end of the race and ahead of me. So, I kept my focus on a couple of ladies who were running a similar pace to mine. The first 4 miles were mental for me again. I struggled with just giving up and accepting defeat around mile 2. Somewhere around mile 3, I remembered that I have everything in me to complete this. I have done my mileage and my long slow distance days. The only thing I needed to do was get out of my head and in to my run. So, I decided to kick my own butt. It was also around that time I saw a shirt that read “Dead Last Finish is better than Did Not Finish” So, I knew that I was in it to finish no matter what.
Around mile 5, I ended up running and walking with the ladies that I was following. Of course, I enjoyed some great conversation and made the miles and the time pass quicker. I started feeling some real pain in my left hip around mile 8...I started walking a bit more at that point but did not slow my pace. I also started to feel some blistering happening on my feet. And of course, I felt the urge to pee early in the race. I decided unless the urge became overwhelming that I would not be making a port-a-potty stop since every time I passed one, there were lines. One of the ladies decided to pick up her pace, so the other lady and I continued our race together. It was a good choice because it was her first half and she was struggling. So, we encouraged each other.
I could have left her around mile 12 but she started to really struggle around then and I wanted to help her cross the finish line. She kept looking backwards, so I re-focused her and then we began pushing each other to the finish line. When I finally saw the finish line in sight, I knew I was home free. I had reserved a little energy for my finish. I wanted to make sure I could run across this finish line! So, I took off and finished it strong. I was sore crossing the line but my knees and my hip were not dead.
There were about 4000 people registered for the race. So, I feel pretty great to be one of the 2699 runners to finish the race!
I learned a lot too. I know that I am not 100% recovered from surgery yet and cannot expect to repeat my best time just yet. But I was thrilled to finish this race in 3:16:11 since I finished Nashville this year in 3:19:25. So, with a repaired labrum in my hip and a lot of hard work, I knocked 3 minutes off my time. I figure there is only a matter of several more months and training and I will be hitting under 3 hours since my best time was in Columbia (February 2010) at 3:07. So, I have a goal in mind and that gets me more focused.
In the next couple of months, I will be working with my friend, Chuck, to improve my form in running. Before I tore my labrum, I was on the track to running better. And now, I am struggling with overcompensating for injuries and I am back to square one. Now that I have a good half under my belt and the confidence to head towards my goal of under 3, I will get some great training in and some refocusing and my next half I will be pushing myself even harder across the line!! And I will be reminding myself yet again, that I am so not done with running or racing.
Overall, I felt that they did a great job with the race. Absolutely no safety concerns while running. The police kept the roads clear and I didn't have to worry about being run over. There was also plenty of water and gatorade on the course (and not red gatorade! LOL!) It was a pretty flat course too. I really enjoyed it and am considering running it again next year. I hate the technical shirt...the design was just dull. The volunteer shirt looked much better. But the medal was huge and really heavy! So, I guess they spent their money on the medal. All in all, I felt it was a great race and will likely do it again.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Biggest Loser 5K Myrtle Beach Weekend Recap
Don't compete...just complete. That was the motto of the Biggest Loser 5k that was run and walked by about 2600 people on September 25, 2010 in Myrtle Beach. Jason, Chuck and I headed up to Myrtle Beach on Friday afternoon to get registered and enjoy some beach time. Chuck and I were able to get in and out of registration pretty quickly and also picked up Cathy's registration since she and Robert were heading in later.
After we picked up registration packets, Jason, Chuck and I headed down to pool and then the beach. The sun had gone down and there was a chilly breeze out by the pool area. So, we headed out to the beach where the sun was still shining. I cannot recall the last time I played in the ocean. I had a blast jumping in the waves and being knocked around by the waves. Everything was going pretty well. We were all enjoying our play time. Then, tragedy struck...Jason was stung by a man-of-war. The first sting was apparently just a small one on his back where the tentacle just grazed his back. The second sting, the tentacle attached itself to his elbow.
Jason ran out of the water. In fact, I cannot recall ever seeing him move that quickly! By the time Chuck and I reached him, he was standing under the outdoor shower area trying to remove the tentacle from his arm. I recalled that his mother had mentioned that a couple years back his nephew had been stung and they peed on him and it helped relieve the irritation. So, we went back up to the hotel room and we peed on him. I say "we" because Chuck peed in a cup and I poured it on him! LOL...I know it's pretty special! Then, Jason got in a really hot shower and washed it with soap. It was still bothering him quite a bit, so we went to the grocery store and got some vinegar. Jason almost passed out when we poured it on him the first time. It started to look worse, so we decided it was time to head to the ER.
This is what it looked like at the ER.
So, we gave the ER all the details. There was much laughter about us following the wives' tale and using pee on his sting. The doctor who saw Jason said that this was called Maximum Marine Envenomation. Basically when Jason went and put fresh water on the sting and the tentacle was still attached, every stinger that had not fired, immediately fired on him. The pee didn't help out at all and neither did the hot water and soap. The vinegar would've been great had we used it first. So, they marinated him in vinegar for about 45 minutes. They gave him Zantac, Solumedrol (a prednisone), and Benadryl through an IV. After the ER, we picked up prescriptions and then went searching for dinner.
We all wanted pancakes...we saw several pancake houses earlier in the day and we really started craving pancakes. So, we drove around looking for pancake house and found one that opened at 10 p.m. After searching for others, we finally ended up back at the one that opened at 10. And we enjoyed our dinner!!! Then we went back to the hotel and everyone went to bed.
Chuck and I met up with Cathy around 6 a.m. We walked several blocks to the start line. We chatted and waited around and finally lined up at the start line. Finally Bob Harper arrived and he spoke for a few minutes and then he had to speak again because apparently the filming crew did not get exactly what it wanted. So, we endured that and waited for the start.
After we picked up registration packets, Jason, Chuck and I headed down to pool and then the beach. The sun had gone down and there was a chilly breeze out by the pool area. So, we headed out to the beach where the sun was still shining. I cannot recall the last time I played in the ocean. I had a blast jumping in the waves and being knocked around by the waves. Everything was going pretty well. We were all enjoying our play time. Then, tragedy struck...Jason was stung by a man-of-war. The first sting was apparently just a small one on his back where the tentacle just grazed his back. The second sting, the tentacle attached itself to his elbow.
Jason ran out of the water. In fact, I cannot recall ever seeing him move that quickly! By the time Chuck and I reached him, he was standing under the outdoor shower area trying to remove the tentacle from his arm. I recalled that his mother had mentioned that a couple years back his nephew had been stung and they peed on him and it helped relieve the irritation. So, we went back up to the hotel room and we peed on him. I say "we" because Chuck peed in a cup and I poured it on him! LOL...I know it's pretty special! Then, Jason got in a really hot shower and washed it with soap. It was still bothering him quite a bit, so we went to the grocery store and got some vinegar. Jason almost passed out when we poured it on him the first time. It started to look worse, so we decided it was time to head to the ER.
This is what it looked like at the ER.
So, we gave the ER all the details. There was much laughter about us following the wives' tale and using pee on his sting. The doctor who saw Jason said that this was called Maximum Marine Envenomation. Basically when Jason went and put fresh water on the sting and the tentacle was still attached, every stinger that had not fired, immediately fired on him. The pee didn't help out at all and neither did the hot water and soap. The vinegar would've been great had we used it first. So, they marinated him in vinegar for about 45 minutes. They gave him Zantac, Solumedrol (a prednisone), and Benadryl through an IV. After the ER, we picked up prescriptions and then went searching for dinner.
We all wanted pancakes...we saw several pancake houses earlier in the day and we really started craving pancakes. So, we drove around looking for pancake house and found one that opened at 10 p.m. After searching for others, we finally ended up back at the one that opened at 10. And we enjoyed our dinner!!! Then we went back to the hotel and everyone went to bed.
Chuck and I met up with Cathy around 6 a.m. We walked several blocks to the start line. We chatted and waited around and finally lined up at the start line. Finally Bob Harper arrived and he spoke for a few minutes and then he had to speak again because apparently the filming crew did not get exactly what it wanted. So, we endured that and waited for the start.
Finally the race started. It was the slowest start I have ever had because it was so congested and the area was so narrow. It was hard to even get into a running rhythm. I also had trouble finding holes to get in and out and around people. I know the plan was not to compete just to complete. However, I was competing against myself and really wanted to do my very best.
I ended up doing a lot more walking due to some horrible shin splints and just a slight inability to get going when I needed. I jogged as much as I could when I could. I ran in some very strange ways...alot of sideways running which was a bit painful on the hip. But I muddled through. It was hard completing a race with so many people who did not know race etiquette. It didn't matter if you hollered "on the left" or not, people just didn't move. Then they had the bright idea of letting the 1 mile people start in enough time that they could complicate the finish line towards the end for those finishing up their 5k. This was the first time I ever got pushed as I was crossing the finish line. I was not very happy at all about my finish. I had plans to beat my best training time, but it didn't happen. Part of my problem was that I was also racing like I would a half-marathon...reserving something for my last mile. In shorter races, that is not good strategy.
So, for my next 5k race, I will be in a more competive race :) But seriously, I will plan a bit better to try and keep a steady pace the entire race and maybe leave a small amount in reserve for a push across the finish line!
I forgot to mention, during the race, I had the opportunity to high five Bob Harper and he told me "Keep it up! You're awesome!" It was pretty cool. I also got a high five from Sherry from last year's show. I did not stay to get a picture with Bob Harper because Jason was at the hotel and I wanted to check in on him and make sure he got his breakfast and medicine. We ended up heading out of Myrtle Beach after Chuck and I both got showers and breakfast.
All in all, I am relearning my running strategy and basically starting over again. It stinks, but I have to relearn my old running patterns and maybe even some new running patterns so I can prevent injuries and be a better runner. It's all learning for me now. I am hanging in there though and continuing on.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
In A Funk!?!?!?!?!
If you are a Facebook friend, you may have noticed that I have been in quite a funk lately. In fact, I noticed this week, that several of my friends have been feeling quite similarly. Maybe it's the end of summer. Maybe it's how overly busy we all are. Who knows. Whatever it is, there's a lot of people out there who are just not feeling quite like themselves!
What does that mean for me? It means nothing feels quite right. I am not sleeping well. I am easily irritated (should be read as everything around me ticks me off!) My workouts don't excite me and usually are not up to my usual standard. My runs are trash...mileage but only because I have to. Generally, I am a whining and complaining mess. It sucks. And it sucks to be around me during these times too! Sorry dear friends, I love you, but I know I am a pain to be around when I am like this!
So, how did I get this way??? Well, you see, I did it to myself. I apparently am way too much of a people pleaser and have a very hard time saying No. Simple word, but so very hard for me to say. And what happened...I got way too overwhelmed and way too stressed out and pretty angry and felt slightly abused! Not good feelings I assure you!
A lot of it stems from my frustrations about my hip, work, weight loss, not getting pregnant, missing my family, etc. etc. The biggest stressor has been work though. I have not had much time off lately because I do not have a reliable backup to process while I am out. I have been trying for several months to get this one person completely trained but I can never finish his training. He is always pulled away when I am trying to finish things up. I have taken a couple days off in the past couple of months due to a visit with a friend and due to a death in my family and each time management was supposed to process and take care of my job. Each time, the whole process was all screwed up and a huge headache for me!! Ugh!!! I just want to be able to take a day or two (or a week) off of work and be able to come back and not worry about the disaster that I will have to deal with. I don't feel like that is too much to ask for!!! Oh well! I am trying really hard to get my backup completely trained in the next couple of weeks because I am definitely taking some time off and soon!
My hip is doing better. But I know that I am actually scared about reinjuring which causes me a lot of concern. I hate that I can train or run like I want to for fear of reinjury! I find myself being more timid in my workouts and my runs because I don't want to hurt. It sucks! So, in order to challenge myself further, I apparently agreed to run a 10k and 5k in September. I am already scheduled for a half in October and am seriously considering a half in December too. I guess that would mean, I need to get over my fear and just run. Luckily, I have some good friends who also run who have agreed to help me. Cathy and I get together every Saturday morning for hiking, jogging or running. We are trying to incorporate more running into our routine now and so far, it's pretty good. Also, my friend, Chuck, runs and he has agreed to try and help me out more. He told me that I need to start just running as far as I can for now (without pain) and try to keep increasing it. I like this plan. So, Monday, I jogged for about 1.5 miles. It wasn't too terribly fast but it wasn't bad either especially since it was after leg day with Tye! Tuesday, I had a bad run because my legs were still sore from Monday. Wednesday was elliptical day for me. I am hoping that if I feel up to it, I might get a good run in today...we'll see!! I am excited about the upcoming races but feeling slightly intimidated too. So, this shall be interesting. I will keep you posted.
And my sleep schedule has been so off this summer. I sleep but I don't think I get quality sleep a lot of the time. This week, I have slept in our guest room because I am tossing and turning a lot and don't want to keep Jason awake. I feel like I may have gotten a little bit better sleep most of the week. However, for some reason, last night, I went to bed at 11:00 p.m. and was wide awake by 2:30 p.m. I gave up on sleep at 3:30 p.m. and can only pray that coffee will sustain me today because it's another full day!!! I will likely sleep pretty well tonight though!!
I have had quite a few meltdowns on friends this week and last week. I hate that too. I try really hard to keep it all together because that's generally what everyone needs from me. But lately, I feel like I am falling apart. And I have fallen apart in front of a few good friends and I am thankful for them. I think being able to be real and cry through some frustrations is helping me to feel better and to work myself out of this funk. It's hard to pretend everyday that life is grand and wonderful. I hate when people tell me that you should just fake it and eventually it will be. Sometimes you have to be dead honest about your feelings...positive or negative. Sometimes you have to be 100% real. And lately, I have been holding back a bit too much. Don't get me wrong, I am still reserving a good bit of things (that's just me!) However, I am releasing some unnecessary frustrations too!
And this week, my lesson is to learn how to say NO. LOL!! Tye was preaching at me today about learning that. I am a people person and I like to help others. However, I have to remember that occasionally I need to think of myself first. So, if I have to say no to protect myself then NO is the answer. That's going to prove difficult, but also be necessary. From now on, I am going to be in charge of my own schedule again instead of letting others dictate my time. And I am going to make sure that other realize my time is valuable too. Yeah, that's right, I am going to take up for me!
Okay, now I feel like I am rambling. Don't get me wrong, I have had a great summer. It's been crazy busy, but some downtime is in order. A return to my normal schedule is necessary! A return to my positive and happy demeanor is a must!! Next time, you read from me, I hope to be completely out of this funk :)
What does that mean for me? It means nothing feels quite right. I am not sleeping well. I am easily irritated (should be read as everything around me ticks me off!) My workouts don't excite me and usually are not up to my usual standard. My runs are trash...mileage but only because I have to. Generally, I am a whining and complaining mess. It sucks. And it sucks to be around me during these times too! Sorry dear friends, I love you, but I know I am a pain to be around when I am like this!
So, how did I get this way??? Well, you see, I did it to myself. I apparently am way too much of a people pleaser and have a very hard time saying No. Simple word, but so very hard for me to say. And what happened...I got way too overwhelmed and way too stressed out and pretty angry and felt slightly abused! Not good feelings I assure you!
A lot of it stems from my frustrations about my hip, work, weight loss, not getting pregnant, missing my family, etc. etc. The biggest stressor has been work though. I have not had much time off lately because I do not have a reliable backup to process while I am out. I have been trying for several months to get this one person completely trained but I can never finish his training. He is always pulled away when I am trying to finish things up. I have taken a couple days off in the past couple of months due to a visit with a friend and due to a death in my family and each time management was supposed to process and take care of my job. Each time, the whole process was all screwed up and a huge headache for me!! Ugh!!! I just want to be able to take a day or two (or a week) off of work and be able to come back and not worry about the disaster that I will have to deal with. I don't feel like that is too much to ask for!!! Oh well! I am trying really hard to get my backup completely trained in the next couple of weeks because I am definitely taking some time off and soon!
My hip is doing better. But I know that I am actually scared about reinjuring which causes me a lot of concern. I hate that I can train or run like I want to for fear of reinjury! I find myself being more timid in my workouts and my runs because I don't want to hurt. It sucks! So, in order to challenge myself further, I apparently agreed to run a 10k and 5k in September. I am already scheduled for a half in October and am seriously considering a half in December too. I guess that would mean, I need to get over my fear and just run. Luckily, I have some good friends who also run who have agreed to help me. Cathy and I get together every Saturday morning for hiking, jogging or running. We are trying to incorporate more running into our routine now and so far, it's pretty good. Also, my friend, Chuck, runs and he has agreed to try and help me out more. He told me that I need to start just running as far as I can for now (without pain) and try to keep increasing it. I like this plan. So, Monday, I jogged for about 1.5 miles. It wasn't too terribly fast but it wasn't bad either especially since it was after leg day with Tye! Tuesday, I had a bad run because my legs were still sore from Monday. Wednesday was elliptical day for me. I am hoping that if I feel up to it, I might get a good run in today...we'll see!! I am excited about the upcoming races but feeling slightly intimidated too. So, this shall be interesting. I will keep you posted.
And my sleep schedule has been so off this summer. I sleep but I don't think I get quality sleep a lot of the time. This week, I have slept in our guest room because I am tossing and turning a lot and don't want to keep Jason awake. I feel like I may have gotten a little bit better sleep most of the week. However, for some reason, last night, I went to bed at 11:00 p.m. and was wide awake by 2:30 p.m. I gave up on sleep at 3:30 p.m. and can only pray that coffee will sustain me today because it's another full day!!! I will likely sleep pretty well tonight though!!
I have had quite a few meltdowns on friends this week and last week. I hate that too. I try really hard to keep it all together because that's generally what everyone needs from me. But lately, I feel like I am falling apart. And I have fallen apart in front of a few good friends and I am thankful for them. I think being able to be real and cry through some frustrations is helping me to feel better and to work myself out of this funk. It's hard to pretend everyday that life is grand and wonderful. I hate when people tell me that you should just fake it and eventually it will be. Sometimes you have to be dead honest about your feelings...positive or negative. Sometimes you have to be 100% real. And lately, I have been holding back a bit too much. Don't get me wrong, I am still reserving a good bit of things (that's just me!) However, I am releasing some unnecessary frustrations too!
And this week, my lesson is to learn how to say NO. LOL!! Tye was preaching at me today about learning that. I am a people person and I like to help others. However, I have to remember that occasionally I need to think of myself first. So, if I have to say no to protect myself then NO is the answer. That's going to prove difficult, but also be necessary. From now on, I am going to be in charge of my own schedule again instead of letting others dictate my time. And I am going to make sure that other realize my time is valuable too. Yeah, that's right, I am going to take up for me!
Okay, now I feel like I am rambling. Don't get me wrong, I have had a great summer. It's been crazy busy, but some downtime is in order. A return to my normal schedule is necessary! A return to my positive and happy demeanor is a must!! Next time, you read from me, I hope to be completely out of this funk :)
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