What I've Overcome...

I discovered the song "What I've Overcome" by Fireflight awhile back and I have to tell you that it is pretty meaningful to me. Especially the chorus (full lyrics at the end of the post):

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

It's odd that after having lost 100+ pounds, I can look in the mirror and still see who I was back then. But the truth is that I shed that person with the weight. I am no longer who I was when I was so overweight that my life was in jeopardy. I couldn't play with my niece and nephews the way I wanted to. I had very little energy and even less stamina and endurance to walk or anything else. And let's not even think or discuss what my nutrition looked like.

It's funny how shedding that weight and that person has changed me. I won't lie, I have changed. I have gained more confidence, more strength, more speed, more endurance, more stamina, etc. I have gained a lifestyle that enables me to meet people I likely would never have talked to before because they were into fitness and I felt that they looked down on me.

There are a lot of days when I struggle with where I am because my motivation slips a bit and I get frustrated and don't feel great about myself. The problem is that I am trying to look at the big picture, at the road ahead and I have forgotten to acknowledge how far I have come. I don't feel like I need to dwell/focus on my past, however it is something I need to remember. I AM a different person. As my favorite Amplified Athletics' shirt states I am "Stronger Better Faster...Built Rebuilt".

It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that when I got the new flowers on my tattoo, that I would never in a million years think I would have gotten one flower tattooed for running a half marathon...now I have 13! I used to set limits as to what I could and could not do. I have grown past those limits. I never would have thought that I would love hitting the gym and lifting weights either. And now I can go into the gym and push myself and lift with good form alone. I still love training with a partner because I tend to push harder, but I now feel confident enough to go in alone also.

I think sometimes we all forget our motivations and our willpower slips. We all stumble. We all fall down occasionally. But we have to remember that we still have the ability to get back up and keep on going. We cannot let our past keep us down, nor can we let the fear of our future keep us from achieving what we are truly capable of. We have to push ourselves each day, a little harder, a little further. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. It doesn't work that way. If you want results, you have to make some changes. You have to allow yourself to grow and evolve.

So, what's holding you back? Acknowledge where you have been. Set goals (and mini goals) and constantly remember that the only thing keeping you from where you really want to be is you. We all have excuses. We all have fears. Rather than sitting on the couch stuffing your face with Oreos, get up, be active. Change your life little by little. No one said it would be easy but it is most definitely worth it. And know this, even though you may change and become someone different, you never really lose who you are, you just become a better, more fit version of yourself.

I shared this with some friends the other week. I had been told when I got the shih tzu puppies that I would never have running partners. Apparently no one ever informed Mayhem and Minion that they would not be my buddies. Those little girls LOVE sprinting. They LOVE getting the opportunity to run with me. And they are by far my favorite partners for HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training).  Don't let others set limitations on what you can accomplish. Don't limit yourself! Push yourself.

My running partners :) We've got some speed here!

I encourage you to get out there and make every day count. Don't give up on yourself and don't let yourself be bogged down by excuses or anything else. Each day is brand new...put the mistakes in the past and move forward! Life is way too short to focus on your failures. Learn from the mistakes and never settle for mediocrity!

My running mantra I had tattooed on my right arm :)

What I've Overcome lyrics

I've got this passion
It's something I can't describe
It's so electric
It's like I've just come alive

I feel this freedom 
Now that my past is erased
I feel the healing
I've found the meaning of grace
(I found grace)

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

I know I'll stumble
I know I'll still face defeat
These second chances will define me

So I'm moving forward
I'm standing on my two feet
I've got momentum
I've got someone saving me
(got someone saving me)

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it finally feels to break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome

I make mistakes and I might fall
But I won't break
I've got someone saving me

If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars

Funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome
I'm what I've overcome
I'm what I've overcome

More Tattoo Work :)

My running tattoo is FINALLY up to date :) And I feel so much better...well, actually I feel itchy and I am peeling but I am thrilled to have the new flowers added!! I was due to get three of them last December but because of a conflict with my job at the time, I had to cancel my appointment. And then of course, I had 3 half marathons this spring that I needed to add as well. So, I got 6 flowers done which really tested my love/hate relationship with Matt :)

Matt Terry at Fu's Custom Tattoos  is freakin' amazing!!! In fact, I love his work so much that I am not certain I would allow anyone else to ink me!

I had so much fun getting my new flowers added. This was the most intense of any of my tattoo sessions because I had so much work done...like 3 1/2 hours of work! Granted I was there much longer than that because the drawing and placement takes a bit of time and then you have to get some breaks in every now and then. All in all, it was amazing and I had so much fun hanging with Matt and goofing around while he inked me!! I would have thought that the work on my shin would have been the most painful, however, there was a mix of pain and a feeling of tickling that hit me! It was an odd sensation! The calf work which was at the end was perhaps the most painful of that tattoo.

And I have a new favorite place to go when I am up in the area. I always head to Solstice Tavern for burgers before my tattoo.  While I was getting inked, Tripp called and asked where would be a good place to get a cookie or brownie in the area while he and his mom were waiting on me. Matt mentioned Amelie's French Bakery  was amazing and that I should get a caramel salted brownie. So, I had Tripp bring one for me and one for Matt. Let's just say as someone who bakes, my brownies are way outclassed by the French bakery. However, if you have to be outclassed it is better that it be a French bakery to do it!!! My comment upon tasting this was "it's like heaven in my mouth!" It was delicious!!! So, now I have a new tradition for when I head up to NoDa for tattoo work :)

Custom tattooing is fun :) Not everything that is drawn is tattooed, but it sure is funny :)

Matt at work :)

New flowers

This is so much more amazing than I could ever have imagined!

Keep 'Em Separated...

Minion and Mayhem had a vet appointment this past Monday to get their latest set of shots and a checkup. Things were looking pretty good. They are gaining weight just as they should (which made me feel better because Minion has not been the best eater!). And the vet let me know that she felt that they were doing very well. She started Minion's physical exam and that was when I got the news. Her hernia had gotten bigger. Apparently as a puppy grows, it is common for an umblilical hernia to grow too. In fact, the vet insisted that at this size, she felt that we needed to go ahead and repair it before it strangled out her intestines. 

The girls waiting at the vet's office

We had originally planned on spaying Mayhem and having her cherry eye repaired at 4 months. And then at 6 months, we were going to spay Minion and have her hernia repaired. So, I had not purchased the second crate and started separating them yet. Since the vet seemed concerned, I decided to go ahead and have Minion spayed and her hernia repaired the next day. I spent most of Monday picking up a new crate and trying to prepare for dropping Minion off for surgery the next day. I was a bit worried because she is so tiny and I just could not imagine her undergoing surgery at only 10 weeks of age. But a good friend assured me that they do this all the time and there was no need to be concerned.

We decided to put Minion and Mayhem in their separate crates on Monday night. I was a bit sad about it and the girls looked kind of pitiful that night too.

First night apart

The next morning I woke them up just a little bit early so they could play together. The vet had informed me that they would have to stay separated for about 7-10 days so that Minion could heal. I knew going in this was not going to be fun and that they were both going to have problems with this. So, we played for awhile and then I took both puppies with me to the vet's office to drop Minion off. I headed home with Mayhem and she was so lost and depressed. She barely ate at all and wandered around for quite awhile. She had a rough day on Tuesday. I did my best to give her lots and lots of extra love and attention but she was still very depressed.

I picked Minion up Tuesday afternoon and she was kinda out of it. She barely registered that I was there when I got her. The surgery went well and the vet said she would not have to wear the "cone of shame" unless she started licking that area, but the majority of her spays don't have to wear it. Mayhem perked up when I got her home but Minion was so out of it that she did not know she was there either. Minion cried quite a bit and had a hard time getting comfortable. I did manage to get her calmed down and settled in my arms.

Poor drugged up puppy :(

The following days were difficult and filled with a lot of crying and whining from both puppies. Separation was not their idea of a good time. Minion was on pain meds for several of those days but she still wanted to be with Mayhem. I did try to give them some supervised visitations but they always ended up trying to fight which was why they had to be kept apart.

I ended up having to take Minion in for a recheck on her incision on Friday and they informed me that she was healing nicely. They told me that as long as the girls were not all out fighting and hurting each other that they could start playing together some. So yesterday, I let them play for awhile and they were so happy. They fought quite a bit but I monitored them and separated when it got too intense.

This morning, I took them both out together for the first time since Minion's surgery. They were so thrilled. And then I let them play and fight a bit this morning. After they got all their aggression out, they settled down and played together. It was great to be able to let them enjoy some quality time together.

Right now, they are in their crates enjoying an afternoon nap. Depending upon their demeanor when they wake up, I will likely let them enjoy some more play time together. I am hopeful that their sleep habits will return to normal because the 5:30 wake up call is not my idea of a good time! This morning they let me sleep in...until 6 :( I miss the days when they slept until 7.

For now, I am just happy that they are playing well together and that Minion is feeling better. Bad news...I have to do this again in about 5 more weeks :(

Divas Half Marathon North Myrtle Beach Race Report (05/20/2012)

I have been wanting to do an all girls' race for some time now. The Divas Half Marathon looked pretty inviting but the locations were so far away and would involve quite a bit of funds. So, when I heard the Divas Half was coming to North Myrtle Beach, I knew it was the race for me. After all, I really need some girly bling, right? :)

Having competed in the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon and then the NC Half Marathon, I had become acquainted with Kendrick Ribeiro through his running tips, encouragement and advice, I knew I wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, he had not been able to make it to either Myrtle Beach Mini or the NC Half. As the official coach of all of these half marathons, he stays pretty busy but always finds time to send out encouragement and advice to the runners and I had really been helped and inspired by him. So, my first stop at the expo after getting my race packet was by his table to give him a big hug and chat for a few minutes. He was just as awesome in person as he has been online. So, it was great to get the chance to talk shop with him for a little bit. I did get to give him a big hug and he insisted that I had to wear the tiara and wrapped the boa around my neck for our photo :) LOL

I did a little bit of shopping at the expo. I bought a Sparkly Soul headband that I loved. It never slipped or moved the entire race. I love my Sweaty Bands but I didn't have one that matched what I was wearing, so I thought I would give this a try. I think they are awesome!!

We were kinda chill after the expo, grabbed dinner, grabbed some food for breakfast the next morning. And then I laid out all my stuff and clothes for the next day...of course, I would be representing Amplified Athletics by wearing one of their awesome shirts :)  For some reason, I had a horrible time getting to sleep before this race and only managed to get about 4 hours of sleep.

Since the hotel would not approve a late checkout for me until the next morning, I headed there at 5 a.m. to ask about it since they had told me the night before someone would be available. After waiting 10 minutes for someone to show up, I was informed that I would have to check back at 7 a.m....kinda difficult since I would be at the start line for my race. I ended up having to wake Jason up to have him check for a late checkout when he got up. Then as luck would have it, my GPS dislikes Myrtle Beach and got a bit turned around and I ended up getting to the shuttles later than planned. Luckily, I arrived at the start line with plenty of time.

Check out all the Divas getting ready for the race to start. The race had been sold out and there were around 4000 people registered for the half marathon. There was also a 5k which men were allowed to run that would start after us. (They gave out a medal for the 5k too which was pretty cool!)

While waiting for the race start, I chatted with a few people. I had planned to walk this race with a friend who doesn't run but she decided that she didn't want to do it about a week or so before the race. So, I had not planned to run which was probably not the worst thing ever since I had just recovered from the horrible blisters I got at the Flying Pirate Half Marathon. There was a walker back there who was terrified that she wouldn't finish, so those of us seasoned half marathoners were giving her some advice. Of course, I informed her not to get on a bus unless she was bleeding or had bones showing and to just keep going.

It was there I met my new friend, Lauren, who I found out was 26 weeks pregnant! This was her last half marathon to compete in until her next child is born in August. I loved hanging out with her and chatting as we completed the half. Her husband and son met us twice during the half marathon and Lauren actually carried Eamon as she crossed the finish line...that was amazing :)

It was a great course, we ran Ocean Boulevard for a lot of it and it was a very flat course. I would not consider the minor hills in the course anything to be worried about...they didn't last very long and their was not much elevation to either of them. The miles seemed to flow by the first half with plenty of coverage from trees in the residential areas. The course was well marked which is always nice. There were lots of water/gatorade stations which was awesome. The only time I was nervous was when we were out on one of the main roads because  I was right next to a whole lot of cars!!! And the last half of the course was full sun and all I could think about was the fact that I had neglected to put on sunscreen and had just gotten off an antibiotic!!

The boa and tiara station was right before the finish. I just got my tiara...as hot as it was there was no way I wanted a boa around my neck or to have to carry one. Lauren and I stayed together right up until the end. She was carrying Eamon and I saw the finish line in sight. So, I turned to her and said "See you in a few." I love running a finish line and this one was no different than the others.

So, I ran the finish line. I was not wearing my tiara because it would have flown off, so I ran with it in my hand.  And then I had a very hot looking shirtless guy hand me my medal. And I found the firefighters there too :)Yeah, that was a nice view.

And I saw Kendrick at the finish line and chatted with him briefly and introduced him to Lauren and Eamon :) I also found the champagne at the finish line and yes, I did enjoy every sip of it :) We headed over to get our pictures made and then to refuel.

After thanking Lauren for being my race buddy and agreeing to hook up on Facebook later, I headed back to the shuttle to get to my car and got back to the hotel with 15 minutes to spare to get showered and packed. I was very pleased that I did not experience any odd pains, no blisters, no issues. Hard to believe, I know. Perhaps my last two races took care of the worst of my issues for this one :) Let's just say I didn't question it. And I liked this race so much that I know that I want to run it next year and I will plan to run it from the start. I am pretty stoked about it!

My M&Ms...Mayhem & Minion

                                      

Minion & Mayhem

Well, it's official. I am owned by two sweet little shih tzu puppies. I have been thinking about getting a dog for awhile now. When I was working at the nutrition store, I knew my crazy hours would be too stressful on a dog, so I decided to table the idea until later.

Over Easter, I saw my Mom & sister's daschund puppies and thought they were adorable. I even went so far as to ask if they had any brothers or sisters left at home. They did not. I then got a phone call on my way home from my friend Ann, who told me that her shih tzu's mom in Virginia had another litter. Ann knew that I had fallen in love with the breed. Her dog, Nani, has been such a little sweetheart and I adore her!  So, I told her to check and see how much they wanted for a puppy. Their cost was a bit more than what I was thinking, especially since you have to factor in travel to VA, shots & vaccines, etc. So, I started looking online and found these two sweet little darlings.

I immediately contacted the owner to see if they were still available and was pleasantly surprised that they were and she accepted my offer for both of them. She agreed to hold on to them for me a little while longer than she had intended because I had a half marathon to complete and couldn't pick them up until I came back. It would've been too much stress to have to take them to my friends after  only a few days of being with me.

So, when I got back from the Outer Banks, I was able to pick them up that night and took them back to my friends' house for their first night. We spent the next morning playing with Ann's shih tzu, Nani. She was so sweet with them, herding them, playing with them, checking on them. I felt bad taking them home without her with them.

We got home a little before Jason got home from work. When he came in, I introduced them and he was surprised how small they are and I think he kinda fell in love with them too, though I am not certain he will admit it. He has been good at helping me with them so far. In fact, he was watching them last night for me while I was watching the Verner children.

Minion

Mayhem

They went to the vet on Thursday. I absolutely loved their vet, Dr. Blaes. He was super informative and so helpful. And all the staff at the Banfield Hospital at PetSmart on Harbison have been awesome. They took awesome care of the girls while we were there and were even helpful when I came back in yesterday because Minion had been way more stressed out and was barely eating and up whining quite a bit. They helped me find a food to give Minion to get her eating and reduce her stress. It worked. She ate like a champ and they both slept well last night too :)

Mayhem Napping with the Froggies :)

Minion Napping

I am totally in love with the girls and would not trade them for the world. They were seven weeks old yesterday. So far, they have done pretty well adjusting. They occasionally use the training pads and not the floor. We get lots of play time and they are super spoiled :)  I am enjoying being their Mommy :) And I think they are pretty happy with me because when they heard my voice when I came in last night, they both ran to greet me with lots of kisses and cuddles :)

Well, time for me to get off the computer and enjoy some quality play time followed by some quality cuddle time with my girls :) All this cuteness is just amazing!!

Sleepy Girls :) It's Bedtime!

Flying Pirate Half Marathon 4/22/2012

When I planned out my races for the beginning of this year, this race was not included. In fact, I only intended to do two this spring. However, when I got an e-mail from my friend Laura's weight loss group leader about participating in this race since it would be Laura's first half marathon, I decided I had to be there to support her. And since I did not just want to be on the sidelines, I decided to make this one of my long distance runs in preparation for my half in May.

Thank goodness I decided that it was only going to be a long distance. Earlier this week, I got the news from Laura and Joanna that it was going to rain...100% chance of rain! Yikes!!! And I also for some reason when doing yard work determined that I needed to drop a brick on my foot. Ouch! What in the world was I thinking! My poor foot has been killing me all week! Since Jason had already taken off time for vacation and we had already paid for the hotel and the race, there was no backing out. And have I mentioned that my youngest nephew, Trent, chose this medal as his own! So, come rain or shine, pain or injury, this race was going down in the books as finished. Trent needs his medal!

I did my best to prepare for rain. I tried to prepare for blisters since I have been having issues lately on my longer runs. I got new socks to try which were a bit more cushioned. I even put moleskin on the areas that I have had problems with. I went to bed very early only to be awakened by some arguing bikers in the next door room. Joy! Thank goodness they either resolved their issues or the phone call to the front desk put a stop to it.

I got up a little after 4 a.m. and got started getting ready. With breakfast eaten, phone in a plastic bag, iPod in a plastic bag and everything else ready to go, I headed out to pick Laura up about 5:15. We headed over to parking and then got on the very first shuttle to the start line.

The shuttle to the start line let us out within short walking distance to the start. We headed over in the rain and hit the port-a-potty lines (okay, so with the rain there were no lines!) Then we headed to the covered building to wait for the corrals to line up. We got into our corral and waited for the race to start. It was still raining and I was pretty damp.

I wished Laura luck as we started out. With my foot already bothering me where I dropped a brick on it, I had made the decision to walk before we started. So, I headed out at a pretty good pace. Somewhere around mile 2 both of my feet started giving me issues. I knew it was my toes and I knew it was likely blister issues. I was trying to stick it out but at mile 3, I stopped at the medical station with the intention of checking the foot that was giving me less problems. When I pulled the shoe and sock off, I knew I was in trouble. I had blood and not just a little. The blister had popped and was bleeding. I got a bandaid on it and some moleskin and decided to check the other foot. It was much, much worse. We got it cleaned up as well and I put both shoes back on and headed back out on the course because the lady at the medical tent said she didn't think it was TOO bad.

So, I got back on the course and decided to slow my pace quite a bit more to lessen the intensity of the pain. I also decided that I needed a good distraction. So, I found two fun people to enjoy the lovely torrential downpours with! I really enjoyed Jennifer and Chantelle. Chantelle was originally from South Africa and her husband had told her that a half was only 10 miles, so she didn't train for her first half. She was pretty ticked by mile 10 and had come up with many ways to torture him for it! LOL. Jennifer was on her fourth half. We chatted and complained about the non-ending rain for quite awhile.

Little did I know that we would enter the neverending forest for the longest 4 miles of my life! It was a creepy little area and we were certain there were serial killers lurking about around there. Definitely should not have been at the end of the race! I would have preferred starting there than finishing there for sure!

The continuous rain and puddles were not a great comfort to my very sore toes. Every time I hit a puddle the toes that had blisters stung so that was not helpful at all. I continued on and prayed for the end of the forest multiple times. I grew irritated at the volunteers on the course who gave tons of misinformation about mileage and water stations and medical tents. Mostly, I was seriously drenched, no drowned, by the rain and I was tired and I was ready to get off my feet and take the shoes off!

But I soldiered on, helping Jennifer and Chantelle along. They were definitely a comfort to me in that I would have been way more focused on the pain had I not found them! So, when it came to the point we were finally finishing, I had gotten a little bit farther ahead and I stopped, turned around and waited for them to catch up to me, so we could cross the finish line together. After 10 miles together, we ran very slowly our finish line.

I was greeted by Jason and Laura. We headed over to the tables and picked up post-race snacks and then headed to the car to get out of the rain! I have never been so happy to put on warm, dry clothing in my life! And taking the shoes off was awesome, but my poor feet are so sore and so torn up right now, I think I will likely be off of them for awhile!

I was happy with the course right up until the forest. Since I am not a trail runner and not a huge fan of trail running, that made me pretty miserable. However I am so super proud of Laura for finishing her very first half marathon and doing it in under 3 hours. She did amazing and I am glad that I was able to be here with her!

As for me, I am calling for at least a week of rest and recovery for me and my feet and then I will be back out to get some more mileage in to get ready for Myrtle Beach next month!

I Love My Kids...

Okay, so I did not give birth to them and I am not raising them, but well, I am going to claim them anyways. I absolutely adore my sister's kids! There, I said it! This past weekend I was able to spend some good quality "Aunt Lissa" time and it was nothing short of awesome!!!

When I arrived at my sister's house, I had just pulled in and opened the car door and was greeted by my favorite 6 year old, Trent, running across the yard to me. He jumped into my lap and gave me the biggest hugs and kisses ever!!! It was by far the best welcome that I have received ever!! Talk about feeling completely loved and adored!! I asked Trent where his siblings were and he informed me that the others do not love me as much as he does and that is why he was the only one to run to greet me! I found that completely adorable :)

After my amazing greeting from Trent, I did receive several hugs and kisses from Trevor, Tyler and Kelsey. I also got lots of quality talk time with the kids. Friday night, Trent crawled on top of me on the sofa and looked through the pictures on my phone. He talked to me about my half marathons, lifting weights, and medals. He even picked out specific medals that he really wanted :) I love that kid!

Trevor and I talked about running and reading and a couple other things. He is big into football and also loves watching wrestling, so I got to hear about that as well! It's hard to believe how much he has grown up. I can barely believe that he is going to be 12 this year, but he is. He is so mature.

Tyler had lots to tell me. He usually does. He is a wealth of information both useful and useless...he chatters on like a chipmunk :) He is a good kid and has a good heart. He told me all about the fun that he has been having with their new puppies, Roxy and Rusty. We also talked about his Flat Stanley that I will be mailing back out to him.

And Kelsey, my sweet princess, and I had some good girl talk. We talked about manicures and pedicures, dresses and being a drama queen (her Tervis Tumbler says that and she found it awesome that I was drinking my coffee out of it!) She told me about her dance recital that is coming up. She is taking tap, jazz and ballet and she is really great! She is all legs and I look forward to seeing the video of the recital so I can see her dance!

My sister got married on Saturday in Virginia Beach. Her new husband is a great guy and a very welcome addition to our family. He also has a son, Brok, who is a great kid. I look forward to getting to know him better over the years and letting him know that Aunt Lissa loves him too! He and I talked a bit as well. He is very polite and also a very welcome addition to the family!

Aunt Lissa got a bit more quality time with Trent and Kelsey since they spent the wedding night with me in my hotel room. The two fought over who was going to sleep in the bed with me and I decided that since Trent was younger that he would. Kelsey accepted this but when it came time to go to sleep, she got a bit upset. So, Aunt Lissa decided to move the two double beds and make one really big bed so we could all sleep together. I couldn't bare upsetting either of them, so it worked out really well! I did however get to sleep in the crack for awhile and then both kids are such wild sleepers that I ended up getting smacked and kicked quite a bit throughout the night! It sure is a good thing I love them :) LOL

Anyways, I really enjoyed my time with the kids. I may not have any children of my own but these are definitely my kids. They have my heart and soul and I am completely wrapped around their fingers. Aunt Lissa would do anything for them.

When I was driving back Monday, I missed them so much. I also started thinking about when I could visit them again or if I could possibly convince my sister to let them come to stay with me a bit over the summer. I really hope that I can talk her into that one! Either way though, I need to get more time in with my kids!